Learning As I Go

Inspired

2012-01-31T21:27:00.000-06:00

The other day, I ran across a blog post about Pinterest. H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. I don't know this woman, but I related to nearly every word she said... and I admired the blunt and brutally honest way she said them!

I love Pinterest. I often find myself lying in bed at night browsing the fun ideas while watching the Friends marathon on Nick at Nite (which, by the way, still makes me giggle out loud -- I miss that show!) It's inspiring. (Pinterest... not Friends.) Or at least it is supposed to be.

There are moments when I find myself slipping from "being inspired" mode to "feeling inadequate" mode. You know, like when I saw the incredibly awesome monthly shots of a pregnant mom (who, of course, only looked pregnant in her tummy, and not in her face, hands, legs and feet) and had her adorable 2-year-old daughter peek in and touch her perfectly round tummy on the 9th month... that's when the "inadequate" mode set in.

I try to recognize the mode switch. Sometimes when it happens, I think of an excuse of why that isn't "mine"... (like the fact that when I was pregnant, I was miserable and felt like throwing up nearly every second of the day, and taking a picture of myself was on my list of to-do's, just under "smack my head against the bathroom wall.")

Then I remind myself that excuses aren't the way to go... (not quite the positive spin I was searching for) so I feel happy for the person who's "pin" it is... "Wow, I bet that Mom is so incredibly happy she has those amazing pics of her pregnant days!"

Yeah, that's better.

Sometimes, a pin is easy to pass by.... either the style of it just isn't me (I don't think a lamp made out of plastic spoons says 'Carin.') or the usefulness escapes me (I just don't know that I would use a pot-holder-cleverly-and-cutely-turned-cell-phone-case.)

But then comes the fun stuff... the easy stuff... the do-able stuff.

Something I can print and stick in a frame I already have in my storage room and put up for Valentine's Day and look all festive? I'm IN!

And when I saw these, I knew I could pull it off.

There it is. Inspiration.

That's the mode I want.

So, tomorrow morning, the kiddos will wake up to mail in their mailboxes.... a note about something we love about them.

Mail every day until Valentine's Day unless I forget a day in which I will make up an excuse that my head had so many ideas of what I loved about them that I couldn't choose and that they would have two notes in their mailbox the next day.

So, thank you Pinterest.

I'll pass by the photos of the elaborate backyard patio draped with gorgeous fabrics and decorated in hand-made flowers, and the blanket sewn from clothing from someone's first-born's first year of life...

and head right for the photos of Valentine Mailboxes.

And I will feel inspired.

* * * * *

Mailboxes from Hobby Lobby... covered with scrapbook paper and decorated with stickers and ribbon. (Carter opted for no ribbon.) Candle holders from The Dollar Store (and be sure you search through all 400 of them to find ones that stand up straight, because 395 of them don't, and they are not such high quality that you can bend them gently to straighten them out. ~~Not that I broke 2 of them trying and had to go back to the store to buy more~~.)

Oh, and grab a black frame while you're at the Dollar Store... go here for the cute printable, and you're all set!

Carter Flashbacks... and a Flash Forward

2012-01-28T22:00:00.000-06:00

Here is my perfectly imperfect.... I had these photos in a folder to blog about -- in 2010.

So instead of feeling inadequate and remorseful about not blogging then... (okay, so I felt that way for a few minutes) I flipped the switch. Now, I'm celebrating the flashback -- remembering with such warmth and love the memories of Carter as a 2-and-a-half (ish) year old!

* * * * *

Oh, there's just nothing like Daddy's tickles!

I loved it when Carter started giving the "thumbs up!" He still does it from time to time, like when we're out at a restaurant (okay, McDonalds) and he goes up all by himself to get more napkins (still in eyesight of me, of course) and he turns to me and gives me a thumbs-up, as if to say, "Look, Mom, I made it to the napkins all by myself. Everything is OK." Big kid, I tell ya.

Everything works better... feels better.... IS better... when you stick your tongue out just a little bit.

"Watch my airplane soar through the sky like this ~~and ignore the food all over my face!"~~

Carter was (and still is) such a patient kiddo -- watching big sister at dance class through the glass...

and when he got bored, and the coloring books and toys we brought weren't enough, hanging upside down like a monkey got us through 'til the end of class!

Managing 2 kids in swimming lessons at the same time wasn't an option for me a few years ago... because, Rylee was a "flight risk" (those of you who have children like this need no further explanation) and Carter wasn't happy in the water unless I was just inches from him. So, here is Carter, watching Rylee swim... yearning to go in the water himself but never complaining. (Now, the kids do private lessons together because there is less risk for "flight" with Rylee and Carter loves the water... life is good!)

And Toy Story ... oh the Toy Story gang! He loved them then... and he still loves them now!

"See how silly Mr. Potato Head looks with his arm sticking out of his head!"

"Buzz Lightyear, to the rescue!" (This was the very first Buzz Lightyear we got him for Christmas 2009. Since then, he's gotten 3 more, because of course you need the one that doesn't talk but his wings pop out, the one that literally has a conversation with Woody when you put them face to face, and the one that has a really cool belt. Seriously, no Toy Story toy fanatic can be without!)

Oh, and thank goodness for pictures, because I forgot about this smaller Buzz Lightyear... so make that 4 more Buzzes since Christmas 2009! Oh, but wait... what about the miniature Buzz that is on a keychain? Or the little Buzz that came with the Toy Story book? I give up. We've obviously lost count.

"Don't think that just because I'm in the tub that I can't still get you with my Buzz Lightyear lazer!"

"And here are my MUSCLES!" (Again, muscles look bigger and are definitely stronger if he twists his tongue and sticks it out a bit.)

"Mom, I'll smile for you... but don't expect me to take my eyes off the TV show I'm watching."

"A bucket of snow. It's really not very exciting, Mom, but I assume since you have your camera out you want me to hold it up and smile for you. There ya go."

Oh the paci... sometimes, I actually miss trying to find one. I'm still waiting to move a shelf or clean under something ~~that hasn't been cleaned under for 3 years~~ and find one. I have a feeling I will get a little teary-eyed.

* * * * *

Tonight Jeremy and I went to the basketball games at the high school. After watching Jordyn play, we stayed for the Boys' Varsity game ~~to watch her boyfriend play~~ . Ahem... anyway, it was hard not to wonder where we'll be with Carter in 12 years. I was trying to picture him out on the court...(if he chooses to play basketball, of course.) And when one of the players didn't do so well, and the coach sort of got after him about it, I pictured it being Carter and then I realized that I didn't want anyone to talk to Carter like that, so I decided that Carter couldn't be in basketball... or football... or any sport in which he might make a mistake and a coach might get after him about it. (Okay, so that might be a bit unrealistic.) Then I looked at some of the moms of the boys playing, and I thought to myself, "What kind of mom will I be to a high school boy? Will I be "cool" or incredibly annoying in his eyes? Will I know how to help raise the kind of boy we want to raise? ~~Will I know that I shouldn't be wearing those kind of boots because I'd look like I was trying to be 17?~~ " After feeling quite nervous and unprepared for raising a son for nearly a quarter of the basketball game, I realized that I was simply at a basketball game, and that Carter was 4.

I guess that's what the next 12 years are going to do for me... they will get me ready for it.

And when I feel as though I have no idea what I'm doing, I will remember that no one does.

And when I feel as though I have it all together, I will remember that we all do.

And somehow, we will have raised a son that we are incredibly proud of... and if he chooses to play basketball, I will be in the stands, cheering him on ~~and planning a phone call to the coach to request that he not "get after" Carter about a mistake he made in the game. (Yeah, I'm sure that would make me a really "cool" mom.)~~

For now, I'll forget about 12 years from now.

I'll just go home and cuddle our 4-year-old. Because, right now, to him, I am "cool."

And he's pretty darn "cool" to me, too.

Stepmom

2012-01-19T23:31:00.002-06:00

I became a Mom 11 years ago. Well, sort of a Mom. Maybe a "Mom-like" figure. Maybe a "parental-sort-of-friend." (We didn't use the term "stepmom," and to this day, I only use that term when I get a puzzled look from someone who I can see calculating in their head how old I must have been when I gave birth to Jordyn.)

Anyway, it doesn't really matter what we called it. When I met Jeremy, Jordyn was six years old. She was a sweet, spunky little thing with a little bob haircut and missing teeth. I immediately felt welcomed into her dad's life... she was excited to do things with us, and though she lived full-time with her mom, stepdad, and little sister, Jeremy had her a lot, and she was part of our relationship from day one.

Since Jeremy and I got married, Jordyn has lived with her mom during the week, and been with us on the weekends ~~unless she was in her early teen years when spending the night at friends' houses on the weekends was just as important as breathing~~ . Fortunately, her mom lives in the same town, so we've always been able to be a big part of Jordyn's life.

For the past 3 months, Jordyn has been living with us full-time. It was an adjustment for all of us, but once we all got into the "new groove" of things, we all settled into life, and it has been wonderful. I've gotten to know Jordyn all over again, and when I look at her, it's hard for me to see the six-year-old with a bob haircut and missing teeth. Jordyn has become an incredible young woman. (I couldn't think of any other way of saying that that wouldn't make me sound old.... so there it is... I'm old.)

Today, Jordyn turned seventeen. Last night, Jeremy, the kids and I wrote down 17 things about Jordyn that we loved and slipped them into balloons before blowing them up. This morning, with a Happy Birthday song playing from Rylee's iPod, we tossed the balloons into Jordyn's room.

If I could pick one of those 17 "loves" to share, it would be that Jordyn is incredibly loyal -- to her family, to her friends. She never brushes off an "I love you" from us, even if it's in the presence of friends (though we try really hard to keep all of the "could-be-embarassing" things to a minimum.) She is always there for her friends when they need her... she helps little sister put clips in her hair (so she can look like big sister) and she always listens to little brother's ~~very long~~ stories.

Eleven years ago, I didn't know what being a "stepmom" would be about. And though I didn't ever try to be a "replacement" for her mom (she already had a mom, so there was no need) I was excited about the idea of being a Mom. Or "mom-like." Or whatever.

However, the last 11 years have presented challenges... being a parent is challenging enough, but to add the "step" element gives everything a different spin.

I haven't written much about being a "stepmom" on here... it's a delicate situation when you write about others, and respecting those you write about is crucial. ~~And let's face it, there are some feelings, whether completely relatable by others, are best kept quiet.~~

But on this, Jordyn's 17th birthday, I felt compelled to write. Specifically, to write to me, 11 years ago.

If I could go back 11 years, I would tell myself some things that may have helped from time to time.

I would have told myself that...

You can't take everything personal. Sometimes, when things seem like it's all about you, it's not even a tiny little bit about you.

There will be moments when you feel left out. When you feel sort of displaced. Just hold tight, because the feeling will pass.

You will realize that some years in a child's growing up are just tough... and whether you are a biological parent or a "stepparent" really makes no difference. They are tough years, and you just believe that everything you've done... everything you've modeled... everything you've said... will help everyone make it to the other side of the "tough" stuff. And everyone will make it.

There will be moments when you find yourself being able to offer guidance in a way no other person in her life can. And you will feel important. Soak it up.

There will be times when you have to hurt a little so others have the chance to learn about life and grow themselves.

When you see a quality in her that she may not have gotten if it hadn't been for you coming into her life, go ahead and smile. Feel good about it. Because whether you have the "mom" title to her or not, you will be a part of who she will become.

* * * * *

Thank you, Jordyn, for letting me be your "Carin."
I am grateful to be a part of your life.
Happy 17th Birthday, hon. I LOVE YOU!

(please excuse the photos -- a grainy, scanned photo and a not-so-great cell phone pic!)

Wordless Wednesday (On The Court)

2012-01-11T00:00:00.001-06:00

Home

2011-12-24T20:50:00.003-06:00

Christmas 2009

We fell in love with his photo...

and, if you asked the kids, we "sent him money so he could buy a Mom and Dad."

We hung the ornament we received on our tree -- the ornament represented a little boy who needed a home. And so we talked about him, and thought about him a lot.

I didn't stop thinking about him.

In fact, to be honest, there were many moments when I wondered if he should be ours.

My heart really wanted him.

But our lives weren't ready.

* * *

Christmas 2010

He was still there.

More money.

Another ornament -- another reminder of a little boy without a home. Without a family.

More thoughts. More desire to bring him home. To our home.

Waiting for something to tell me it was right... that he was ours.

* * *

April 2011

We found out he wasn't ours.

We found out where he belonged.

He belonged with his family...

Jake and Ashley Gibson were his Mom and Dad,

and they began their journey to bring him home.

In November, they did just that. They brought him home.

And now, my thoughts aren't about where his home is... now I know.

He is exactly where he belongs -- I can see it in his smile... his laugh.

He is experiencing fun toys and dogs and popcorn ball-making and gifts from far-away friends and haircuts and car seats and unconditional love.

And this year, because of an incredibly thoughtful Mom, we have a 3rd ornament on our tree.

The ornament doesn't represent a little boy who needs a family... a home.

The ornament represents a little boy who has a family...

He is home.

Happy Holidays 2011!

2011-12-18T22:03:00.002-06:00

Thoughts

2011-12-14T17:12:00.001-06:00

I feel most inspired to write when I can't. Or I shouldn't be.

Like right now.

Right now I have two kids, watching a show on the couch, periodically requesting more grapes. Right now I have 3 cupboard doors open in my kitchen and a dishwasher hanging wide open, half-emptied. (Or half-full, I guess... depends on your mood.) Right now I have a dog shuffling her food and water dish around the kitchen floor with her front paws, signaling to me that she's ready for supper. Right now I have a clock nearing 5:30, which means that I should have supper started. At the very least, I should know what I'm making for supper.

The truth is... right now I have a ton of thoughts in my head. Thoughts about the holidays, challenging child behaviors, brownies and iPads. I have thoughts about friends, Christmas presents and raising a teenager (who is now living here full-time.) I have thoughts about cleaning the house, finding time for my husband, and strawberry daiquiris. (Actually, not much thought on that last one except for wanting one.)

But, the kids' requests for more grapes are becoming louder and more difficult to ignore, the dog is now sitting at my feet whining, and supper is not making itself.

So, my thoughts will have to wait. And later, when the kids have gone to bed, the hum of the dishwasher washing dishes can be faintly heard from the kitchen, the Christmas tree lights are sparkling and reflecting against the window... the perfect environment to reflect and write.... I will be tired and my mind will be trying to recollect just what on earth I had to say about brownies and iPads that was inspiring (or even remotely interesting.)

For now, I will leave you with this.

As soon as I can wrap my arms around the overwhelmingly wonderful feelings I have for this little boy,

and now his forever Mom and Dad,

I will be back.

Fashion Statement

2011-11-29T16:44:00.002-06:00

This is where we wear our skirts... so why wouldn't the tree?

First Time

2011-11-21T20:30:00.001-06:00

First time walking to the Metrodome for his very first Vikings game

First time posing in the cold weather just outside the dome

First time watching the players come in from the parking lot
(spotted Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen and Kevin Williams)

First time at the official "Vikings Locker Room" purchasing his first game souvenier

First time seeing the field

First time finding his seat

First time discovering that kisses are nearly impossible wearing a helmet

First time showing his "tough face" and getting psyched up for the game

First time watching the Vikings ship inflate and the fireworks explode for the introduction of the players

First time cheering the players on one by one as they come onto the field

First time taking pictures of the action with Mom's little pocket camera

First time watching a pro-football game live and in person

First time munching on popcorn in a very large ~~and over-priced~~ popcorn tub.

First time realizing that the 1st half of the game is intriguing, but that he's only four, and he still gets bored for the 2nd half and needs his Mom's phone to keep him entertained. (At least her phone case is purple, so he still looks supportive of the team.)

First time covering his ears when the crowd gets a little rambunctious

First time falling asleep in the car after his very first Vikings game

First Vikings loss of the season.

Okay, so maybe that last one wasn't a first.

Preparation

2011-11-05T23:41:00.009-05:00

Cards have been written (and adequately covered in stickers),

(Adding his name was an afterthought... so he squeezed it in where it fit!)

smoothie cups have been decorated and labeled,

and the cake has been frosted ~~and bowls of cake batter have been licked clean~~ ,

(Any guesses on the cake?!)

all in preparation to celebrate THIS DAY!

(Thursday, November 6, 2003 at 9:12 am • 6 lbs 2 oz • 19" • 4 weeks early)

It's Party Time!

Inadequate

2011-10-28T22:46:00.010-05:00

Blogging is always on my mind -- every time I take pictures I already have thoughts on what I'd write about -- but somehow I've let "my blogging time" be swallowed up by everything else in life.

I don't feel quite complete when I'm not blogging consistently. It's strange. And when it's been awhile since I last blogged, the words don't come as easily as when I'm blogging more frequently.

There are several blogs I follow regularly -- blogs written by remarkable, creative, inspiring women. And when something happens in my life that inspires me to write, I grab my laptop and click on "Blogger", visualizing this wonderfully-written post with breathtaking photos. But before starting my post, I take a little detour and click on the blogs of these other women.

I read. I look. I smile.

And then I allow myself to feel inadequate.

Why do I do that?

Suddenly my moment of inspiration is gone, and what's left is the feeling of "um... nevermind."

My thoughts, my photos, my experiences, my everything suddenly pales in comparison to these other women.

My excitement to blog is gone.

If I consider myself to be confident (which I do), why do I let that happen? *hmmmm*
Must be just moments of uncertainty peeking through the confidence sometimes...

But because of those feelings, I've missed out on blogging some really fun moments in our lives...
and that just bums me out.

So, I'm making a ~~New Year's~~ Halloween Resolution. More blogging. More of our family. Whether the thoughts are eloquent or the words stumble over each other, I'm going to say them. Whether the photos are magazine-worthy or slightly blurry and underexposed, I'm going to share them.

And with that resolution out there, I'm going to show you our two little Halloween kiddos... our two little ones who often say the sweetest things to me,

as if they're helping me to see there is nothing inadequate about me.

Have a fun and safe Halloween everyone!

(Take a peek at our Halloweens from the past here and here!)

Letter to 2nd Grade Classmates' Parents

2011-09-24T20:46:00.002-05:00

When Rylee was in Kindergarten and 1st Grade, I wrote a "Letter from Rylee" to send home with her classmates, written to their parents (you can read that letter here.)

This year, as Rylee began 2nd Grade, I knew it had to be different. I am often approached by other parents as to how they can appropriately and positively talk to their children about disabilities. We all want to raise children who are very accepting and appreciative of differences in others, but it can sometimes be difficult to know exactly what to say or how to say it.

So, this year's letter wasn't written from Rylee's perspective, but instead Jeremy's and mine. It went home with all of her 2nd grade classmates (for their parents) the first week of school, and we got really kind feedback!

Rylee is very lucky to have some wonderful friends with amazingly supportive parents -- parents that I now consider to be great friends of mine! I know Rylee will grow up with a tremendous support system around her at school!

Dear Parents,

Can you believe we have kids in 2nd grade?! Many of your children have been here at our Elementary School since Kindergarten, so we already know you! But there are others who may be new to the school. We thought it might be helpful to write to you. As our kids grow and change, they notice more, inquire more, and understand more.

Our daughter, Rylee, is a fun little girl with a dynamic personality. She has an infectious giggle, and loves playing outside and reading books. Besides being very “typical”, she also has Down syndrome. Your child might come home with questions for you, wanting to know more about Rylee. As parents of a child with Down syndrome, we are often asked how to address some of these questions. Below are some common questions and answers that we hope are helpful.

Research has shown that children with Down syndrome benefit from being placed in a regular education class, receiving their education alongside typically developing children of their own age. Typically developing peers give children with Down syndrome the role models they need to acquire new skills, encourage age-appropriate behavior, develop independence and friendships.

It’s also important to your child! Studies have shown that inclusion is beneficial to the other children in the class. Inclusion facilitates greater understanding, patience and compassion as well as learning to be supportive of one another. Children also learn to value diversity and to appreciate that everyone has something beneficial to bring to the life of the school and the community.

We are grateful for the support that Rylee has had here at our Elementary School! We appreciate being in a school that teaches understanding and embraces and values differences!

We look forward to a great year in Mrs. Smith’s classroom and can’t wait to share this school year with you all! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

Sincerely , Carin & Jeremy Griffith
(phone number and email address)

* * * * *

Thoughts on Talking to Your Children About Down Syndrome:

What Is Down Syndrome?

“Our bodies are made up of cells, which are so tiny that we would need a special microscope to see them! Inside these cells are even tinier things called chromosomes. These carry the directions that tell our bodies how to grow. People with Down syndrome have an extra chromosome. This means that the growing plan works differently than other people. If someone has Down syndrome, they have that extra chromosome before they are even born. It’s not a disease or sickness, so you can’t “catch” Down syndrome from someone who has it. If someone is born with Down syndrome, they will always have it. Often people with Down syndrome look a little bit like each other, but they also look a lot like their parents and brothers and sisters.”

What Does Down Syndrome Mean to Someone Who Has It?

• “Kids with Down syndrome will be able to do nearly all the things that other kids do. They just may take a little longer to learn them. They may also have to work harder to learn them. Some kids may have to work harder to speak clearly; others may need to work harder to learn to skip or jump rope.”

• “Having Down syndrome also means that there may be muscles in the body that don’t work like other kids; for example, being able to control going to the bathroom may take a little longer.”
(At this point, it’s helpful to discuss with children the things that are easy for them to do, and things they needed to practice more to do them... such as, “Remember when you found it hard to _______? It helped you to have extra time, lots of practice, and some help when you needed it.”)

• “Kids with Down syndrome have some extra teachers who will help them, in addition to your classroom teacher. These teachers have different classrooms where the kids will go during the school day for a while, and they help the kids work on things that may be more difficult for them. Kids with Down syndrome may also have an aide who will help them if they need it.”

What Can You Do to Be a Friend to Someone with Down Syndrome?

• “The most important thing you can do is remember that kids with Down syndrome are KIDS FIRST! They feel, love, play, laugh, learn and have fun just like you! They would like to be treated as you would treat any of your friends. They may not do all the things that you do, but they are not babies and would be hurt if you treated them that way.”

• “It’s important that you not do things for them... it’s better if you can show them how to do something so they can learn to do it themselves. If they do not understand the rules, help them!”

• “You can be a good friend to them by being patient and kind. Even though kids with Down syndrome may not be as quick or as good at something than you, give them a turn! Give them a chance to show you something they are good at!

• “If they do something silly, don’t laugh at them... instead just show them a different way to do it.”

• “If you don’t understand what someone with Down syndrome said, politely ask them to say it again or ask an adult to help you understand.”

Different and Same

• “Look around your classroom... you will see that all of your classmates look different. Here are some things that you might notice: Kids have differently colored hair & eyes, and have different shapes to our faces and bodies. Some kids learn quickly, while some take longer to learn. Some kids like to run, while others would prefer to read a book. Some kids are very friendly, while some feel shy. Everyone is unique! You don’t have to be exactly the same to like being together, to be friends or just to be classmates.”

• “There are also ways that make all kids the same! Kids with Down syndrome actually are more ALIKE you than they are DIFFERENT. You laugh at funny things and cry when you are sad. Kids with Down syndrome do, too. You get upset sometimes and make mistakes. Kids with Down syndrome do, too. You like it when kids are kind to you and you cry if people make fun of you. Kids with Down syndrome do, too. You like to have fun with your friends, learn new things, and feel good about yourself. Kids with Down syndrome do, too.”

We hope this is helpful to you! Thanks for spreading awareness about Down syndrome!

* * * * *

If you would like to read other "Letters from Rylee",

please click on "Letters from Rylee" at the top.

(You may then click on each letter to download a pdf file.)

Thanks for passing along and helping to raise awareness!

Always On My Team

2011-08-24T22:28:00.007-05:00

Tonight was the first time he laced up his cleats...

joined others on the field...

dribbled the ball ~~and fought the temptation to pick up the ball when it got away from him~~

and gave soccer a try!

Carter enjoyed his first soccer practice... and as for me?

I don't know if I was more excited to watch him play, or to find out that the ball we bought him matched the team shirt they gave him at practice to wear each week, which wound up matching the goal for a super-cute color-coordinated picture!

Seriously, though, it was an absolute joy watching him! I don't think I stopped smiling the entire hour. Between silent giggles at the parents yelling at their son to "Go get it! Go get it!" as if we were in the midst of the World Cup playoffs, and the little girl who continually picked up her soccer ball every time someone else got near her, I watched Carter.

I watched him think. I saw his little brain spinning as he processed all the rules...

"Tip my foot so I kick the ball with my shoe laces... keep the ball close to me... turn my body so that others won't take the ball from me..."

I saw him make choices.

"Should I go get a drink right now because I'm really thirsty, or should I wait here until Coach says it's time for a drink break?"

"Should I help the little boy that just fell down, or take the ball from him because he's not on my team and head down the field to make a goal?"

My heart smiled when Carter stopped, looked our direction, and gave us a smile and wave.

I don't know if this is the start of many years of soccer-playing, or if he'll decide to hang up his cleats after this 6-week session is over.

What I do know is that it was pure joy watching him tonight...

and I am so happy he's always on my team.

She is...

2011-08-23T21:19:00.010-05:00

... spunky.

... delightful.

... strong-willed.

First Days of Kindergarten (2009), 1st Grade (2010) and 2nd Grade (2011) with Dad

She is kind-hearted.

... thoughtful.

... silly.

First Days of Kindergarten (2009), 1st Grade (2010) and 2nd Grade (2011) with Mom

She is growing up.

(More on Rylee's start to 2nd grade to come...)

Today

2011-07-04T22:41:00.010-05:00

We spent today at the lake...

swimming,

~~sweating~~,

eating snacks,

~~trying to avoid the rowdy group of young adults using inappropriate words and indulging heavily in adult beverages~~,

taking walks hand in hand,

and stopping along the way for smiles

and funny faces,

~~applying sunscreen every 47 seconds because of sunburn paranoia,~~

fishing,

and enjoying the beautiful day!

The holiday is a tough one to explain to young kids... to them, today was a day Dad didn't have to work, Mom tried telling them about something (or was it someone?) called "America", and their neighbors made lots of noise outside which would have made it difficult to fall asleep had they not been completely exhausted from the fun day! (Some day they will understand the importance of this day!)

We will soon post our annual 4th of July family photo! (You know... after we take it.)

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

Sportsmanship and Dirt

2011-07-03T23:08:00.001-05:00

I am not big on competition. I am usually the one that feels more bad for the team who loses than happy for the team who wins.

(I do know that conversations, car rides and overnight stays with Jordyn following softball games are much more pleasant when her team has won.)

But, what I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing is Jordyn grow as a player over the years.

I remember when I first met her at six years old... she was a good player -- hitting, fielding, pitching -- but her attitude and sportsmanship was... well, in need of some work.

But let's be honest. It's hard as an adult to handle pressure and disappointment...

so for a six-year-old? Yeah, it's tough.

(Jordyn was picked up by another team, the Sioux Falls Flash, to play in a tournament 4th of July weekend... hence the different uniform!)

Today, at 16, Jordyn has great sportsmanship.

She has found that delicate balance --

the drive and determination to win,

and the accepting attitude that comes along with loss.

She's got a lot going for her...

and I can't wait to see where softball takes her!

* * * * *

Though Carter loves his big sister, I don't think it's necessarily her softball-playing that draws him to the field.

I think it's the dirt.

I mean, with all the dirt just laying around, what's a 4-year-old boy to do but sprinkle himself with it?

Carter has also become a big fan of ball retrieval. The moment a ball is hit outside the fence, he's scanning the crowd to see if there are any other kids he's going to have to out-run to make it to the ball first.

And when there's a lull in the game, shouting "Blue!" and tossing the ball over the fence to the umpire... well, it doesn't get much better than that.

(We're grateful to have had some very patient umpires... it doesn't always make it over on the first toss!)

* * * * *

(Note: Rylee's not a fan of softball games this season, so we're finding her fun babysitters or wonderful grandmas to stay with her!)

Wordless Wednesday (Sand Angels)

2011-06-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

Giving

2011-06-27T21:17:00.007-05:00

Antonio (I mean Carter)... continues to be on our minds and in our hearts. Though he is not home yet, his parents are wading through the adoption process to get him home as soon as possible! I have loved getting to know his family through their blog, and feel as though his mom and I are becoming friends (through our blog comments and emails and such!)

I was very surprised when I visited their blog the other day and found pictures of something familiar.

I was reminded that giving is quite often more exciting than getting.

*****

Take a peek at some more recent pictures of Carter.

Yup... I just heard your "Ohhh!!! So cute!" from here.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

A Boy...

2011-06-20T22:10:00.003-05:00

and his bike.

A match made ~~in heaven~~ at the campground.

What She's Taught Me

2011-06-17T00:04:00.008-05:00

#74. Don't look at something for what it is... look at it for what it could be.

Tell Her

2011-06-08T21:43:00.015-05:00

What would I tell her if I could?

I would tell her that marriage is hard work.

I would tell her that there will be days when love is really easy, and other days when it will be challenging.

I would tell her that he's never going to want to fold towels. She will not be able to change that. Ever. The fact that he loves her will not change anything. He might love her a lot, but he will still hate folding towels.

I would tell her that the wedding day is, indeed, an important day... but that it's just the first of many incredibly important days they will experience together - both incredibly wonderful and incredibly tough.

I would tell her that he may drive her nuts by leaving his cup of sunflower seed shells in the living room, but when she watches him so sweetly try to teach their son how to wink, she won't care about the cup of sunflower seed shells.

I would tell her that they will not always agree... that she will not always be right and he will not always be right, but if they always respect each other, it will be okay.

I would tell her that he is secretly obsessed with cologne. He will own over 30 bottles of cologne at a given time, and she should not try to keep track of which ones she likes the smell of and which ones she doesn't.

I would tell her that being a step-mom will be challenging... but there will also be times it will be like being a biological Mom, and she will guide and model and inspire and teach and encourage and support and love.

I would tell her that she will need to make time for him. Life will get busier and busier and it will be easy to prioritize everything else above time spent with him, but she has to remember how their family began - their connection is at the root of their family.

I would tell her that she is beautiful... and when she finds herself in 9 years, not ~~at all~~ the size she is now, she will still be beautiful. If she thinks she wants to teach her children to feel good about themselves, then she better darn well not say things to put herself down.

I would tell her that in nine years, they will have been through a lot - births and heart surgeries and potty-training and balancing finances and tantrums and broken dishwashers and vacations and deaths in the family and house remodeling and camping trips and talks about teenage drinking...

they will survive. They will grow as individuals and as a couple and as a family.

I would tell her that she has, and will continue to have, a pretty incredible life.

(Happy 9th Anniversary Hon... only a few days late. Love you!)

It Has Begun

2011-05-31T22:59:00.004-05:00

Sunflower seeds.

Blankets.

Baseball hats.

Ball field dust under the fingernails.

Sunscreen.

Collapsible chairs ~~and the skinny bags they make way too small so you can never get the chairs back into them.~~

Late evenings.

Snacks in little plastic baggies.

Sunglasses.

Bug spray.

~~The iPad to keep a little someone who really loves her sister but gets bored at the games occupied.~~

All to see this.

It has begun.

And we love it!

Flashback Friday

2011-05-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

June 2004 (Rylee 7 months old)

Wordless Wednesday (Just Like Daddy)

2011-05-25T22:46:00.004-05:00

The Circle of Life

2011-05-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

When I ordered this, I was excited.

I was thinking about how much the kids would enjoy it -- how amazing it would be for them to watch the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly... the circle of life.

What I didn't realize was how amazed I would be.

So, we got our jar of caterpillars.

Okay, so they didn't look exactly like this. But I didn't take a picture of our jar of caterpillars, so this picture will have to do. Actually, the caterpillars were not this cute. In fact, after a day or so of wanting to see what they were doing in their jar, the kids' interest in them dwindled quickly. (I was the one peeking at them a few times a day, watching in wonder as they ate their food at the bottom of the jar.)

The caterpillars gradually made their way up to the lid of the jar, hung themselves upside down, and began forming their chrysalis.

(Yes, major misconception. Caterpillars don't make cocoons. Beetles, flies, ants, wasps and fleas make cocoons. A cocoon is a covering made of silk that encloses a pupa, and a chrysalis is the pupa of a butterfly. The chrysalis is covered in a hard, chitnous shell. Note the difference: A cocoon is a covering of a pupa, and a chrysalis is a particular kind of pupa, usually with no enclosing cocoon. I know you'll sleep much better tonight having that all straightened out. You're welcome.... and thanks to WikiAnswers.com for helping me.)

I was hoping that one day, when I was peeking in on them, I would catch one forming their chrysalis. I'm not sure what I expected to see, but I wanted to see it. Just a glimpse of a part of the circle of life.

No luck. They did it when I wasn't looking.

When all the caterpillars were all cozy inside their chrysalis, we carefully transferred them to the "butterfly garden."

And then we waited.

After a few days of periodically checking in, the kids decided that these dried-up looking worm thingies hanging upside down really weren't of much interest. I would have agreed, except that I kept thinking about how fascinating it was that a butterfly would really emerge from that dried-up looking thingy.

I kept checking. I hadn't been able to actually see them form the chrysalis, but I was determined to witness another part of the circle of life. (I was tempted to set up our video camera and just let it run, hoping to capture it.) I could see it now. The chrysalis would start to move... the butterfly's little body would wiggle itself out, and suddenly, beautiful wings would spread and it would start to flutter around the butterfly house. (Can't you just picture it?)

One day, during one of my frequent peeks in the butterfly house, I saw it. One was moving. (It was actually one of the chrysalises that had fallen onto the napkin we had placed at the bottom of the butterfly house. We would've been concerned about that except that the directions that came with the butterfly house said that might happen. Whew.)

Anyway, I made a mad dash for the video camera. And.... ACTION!

A Butterfly is Born! from Carin Griffith on Vimeo.

And we watched. The camera kept rolling. The kids and I kept chit-chatting, waiting for that moment when the butterfly would finally be free of the chrysalis... when it would spread its wings and begin to flutter around the butterfly garden.

But it didn't happen. Eventually, the butterfly stopped wiggling around. Having never witnessed this, I didn't know how long it took a butterfly to emerge. Does it take awhile for it to come out? Was it just taking a little break? Or was it.... (gasp) struggling? Was this not how it normally happens?

The kids eventually climbed their way up the step stool and into the fridge to get a snack for themselves... it was obvious that their mom was completely wrapped up in witnessing the circle of life, and would not be available for quite some time to fetch them some string cheese. They tossed their wrappers in the garbage and ran off to play.

I video taped for awhile longer, but, like the butterfly, got tired and stopped. I watched for a bit longer myself, and decided that I would just give it some time. Maybe it was just a process.

It turns out that we did, in fact, witness the circle of life. The entire circle of life. The little butterfly, who was supposed to spread its wings and fly around right in front of our eyes, instead chose to cross over to the other world where all butterflies eventually go.

The kids didn't even notice. By the time they were interested in checking in on the butterflies, the rest of them had emerged, and there was no recollection that there were 5 chrysalises to begin with and only 4 butterflies to feed. (When we'd given the butterfly ample time to emerge, Jeremy called the "time of death" and removed it from the garden.)

I was still very amazed at the whole process, but the unsuccessful attempt by our little butterfly to emerge left me wondering if what I got on tape was what typically happens, or if it had encountered some problems. (I guess I'll just have to wait until next spring when we do this again!)

We put some orange slices in the garden for the butterflies, and kept them for a few more days. I enjoyed watching them from time to time, though it had become very uninteresting to the kids.

It was time to let them go.

We took them outside, unzipped the garden, and waited for them to fly out.

We waited.

And we waited some more.

Rylee finally gave up and went off to play.

Carter was a bit more determined to be a part of the "release" and tried to coax them out.

The four of them finally fluttered their way out... one landed in a lilac bush nearby and stayed long enough for me to get a few pictures of it.

The others fluttered away so quickly we lost sight of them after a few seconds.

And that was that.

Carter took off to play with Rylee, leaving me to think about the whole experience.

It really was quite amazing.

We had seen it all.

Except for the "in the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf"* part, we'd been there for every stage.

(* The Very Hungry Caterpillar, by Eric Carle.)

We really did witness the circle of life.

Wordless Wednesday (Big Blue Eyes)

2011-04-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

The Fun of Finding

2011-04-24T22:10:00.010-05:00

A Look Back... and the Memories

2011-04-24T01:10:00.002-05:00

2004
5 months old

- a feeding tube

- sneaky little fingers that always seemed to find that one little space between the tape on the cheek and the nose where tape wouldn't stick to keep the feeding tube in place... and the handful of trips to the ER to have it put back in until we learned how to re-insert it ourselves (and really not liking the re-insertion part)

- adorable bunny slippers

2004
5 months old

- not knowing much about a camera but having such a passion for photography
(in looking back, it's amazing to see how far I've come, and makes me look forward to learning and growing and continuing to improve)

2005
1 year 5 months

- big, beautiful almond eyes and peeking tongues

2005
1 year 5 months

- "ooooh!" faces and gobs of plastic Easter eggs (most of which I still have, yet continue to buy more on sale after the holiday each year because they're so ridiculously cheap I just can't pass them up)

2006
Rylee - 2 years 5 months
Jordyn - 11 years old

- spending Easter at my sister's house and having Rylee wear her hair in cute little pig tails (for about 4 minutes) and having Rylee cover Grandpa Lee's shirt with Easter stickers and having an egg hunt in their basement

(visualize an adorable picture of Rylee and Jordyn here from 2007)

- having little recollection of Easter because I was 9 months pregnant and my biggest concern was getting Carter OUT of me ~~because I am not a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman but instead a very chubby, nauseated, exhausted woman who's body just doesn't "do pregnant" very well~~

2008
Rylee - 4 years 5 months
Carter - 1 year old

- two little bottom front teeth and spots of drool on shirts

- having an Easter egg hunt and then going into our camper on our front lawn to eat our treats because our kitchen was being remodeled and the house was a mess and the camper was basically where we lived during the days because one has no idea the importance of a kitchen until one is not available to you

2009
Rylee - 5 years 5 months
Carter - 2 years old

- having such a fun time taking pictures of the kids and having Jeremy stand behind me doing God knows what to get genuine smiles and giving Carter a Blues Clues book just so he would stay sitting down and finishing the photo shoot with the kids throwing plastic Easter eggs at me

- being thankful for an older daughter who is such a great sport and joins in the egg-hunting fun with her little brother and sister (though I do believe she secretly enjoys it, especially when her eggs are filled with dollar bills)

2010
Rylee - 6 years 5 months
Carter - 3 years old

- having a hunt in our backyard and watching Carter stand on his tip-toes to reach eggs on the top ledge of our new fence and listening to the kids' squeals when a candy-filled egg was discovered

- fake, half-hearted smiles just to appease mom so plastic eggs can be pulled apart and chocolate treats can be ~~inhaled~~ eaten.

* * * * *

Better go... I need to help the Easter Bunny set out "baskets full of Easter joy."

(And, though I love, love, LOVE this time of year... I have to say I'm not heartbroken that we will soon be putting away the stuffed pink Easter bunny with the spinning tail that sings "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" loudly or the yellow chicken that hops around singing "The Chicken Dance" or the Fisher Price Little People Easter Sing-Along CD that is nearly worn out from being played so much. I guess all good things must come to an end.)

Happy Spring everyone!

Amazed

2011-04-21T13:29:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure who's more amazed at watching our caterpillars spin silk to create a chrysalis...

the kids or me!

Want to be amazed, too? Start your own Live Butterfly Garden here!

Four

2011-04-16T23:02:00.000-05:00

"So Carter, how old are you now?"

"Before the party begins, let's get a picture of you with your sisters!"

"Carter, just a few more pictures, okay? Can I get one with you? You know, so someday you'll know I existed... and of course one with Dad, too!"

"Alright, you've been waiting VERY patiently to open presents... so GO FOR IT!"

"Um... hon? Slow down a little. Did you even see what that present was before you started opening the next one?"

"Carter... Carter?... CARTER! I don't think Grandma and Grandpa heard you say thank you, especially since your head was buried in wrapping paper when you said it."

"Cake time! Do you like your cake? Oh, and by the way, I got you some cool glow-in-the-dark stars for your bedroom ~~only because I needed the plastic bubble on the packaging to make Buzz's helmet."~~

"Carter, what did you think of your party?"

Happy 4th Birthday buddy! We love you!!

5 Hours (and 4 years) Ago...

2011-04-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

About 5 hours (and 4 years) ago, I became the mommy of a little boy.

April 13, 2007
7:13 pm
8 pounds 12 ounces
21 inches long

About 5 hours (and 4 years) ago, she became a big sister.

About 5 hours (and 4 years) ago, she became a big sister (again.)

About 5 hours (and 4 years) ago, I looked down at this extraordinary little being...

and felt proud he chose me to be his Mommy.

Happy 4th Birthday Carter... I love you to the stars and back.

On His Way!

2011-04-12T22:55:00.008-05:00

Three-and-a-half year old Rylee always wanted to join in on my monthly "belly pictures."

(Very often, a baby doll got in on the fun, too.)

We were waiting for Carter, who we had already named, to make his arrival.

He was due to arrive on April 25.

But, 4 years ago tonight, I went into labor.

Our little boy was on his way!

Right Where You Belong

2011-04-08T18:00:00.003-05:00

Antonio's picture.

It's still on the Reece's Rainbow website.

Which means he's still overseas, in an orphanage... waiting for a Mom and Dad.

But, his picture is on a different page on the website.

"My Family Found Me."

That's the page.

The Gibson family of OshKosh, WI is working on bringing Antonio home.

Home.

And do you want to know what's ironic about the story of this little boy?
This little boy that's been on our minds and hearts (and Christmas tree) for 2 years?

They will be renaming him Carter.

* heart smile*

(Though I think in our minds he will always been Antonio!)

So, Antonio... you will always hold a special place in our hearts.

But you're picture won't be on a 2012 Reece's Rainbow Christmas Ornament on our tree next year.

You'll be at home, with your Mom and Dad, opening presents under your Christmas tree.

Right where you belong.

We've Been...

2011-04-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

learning how to be a good sport.

Not easy when you're 3.

You're Allowed... and I'm Allowed

2011-04-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the Special Olympics Facebook announcement, I learned this week that Tim Shriver, the Chairman and CEO of the Special Olympics, would be a guest on the Colbert Report. I was interested, especially after hearing he was going to tackle the use of the "R" word.

I've never watched the show.... even would have pronounced "Colbert" wrong until I heard it said. (So, thanks to the Special Olympics "person-in-charge-of-Facebook-updates" for the announcement!) ~~After spending 20 minutes trying to find it on my channel guide,~~ I set my DVR to record the show. You can watch the clip here.... ~~(and you're welcome for saving you 20 minutes of searching your TV guide.)~~

A day later, Jeremy and I sat down to watch it.

Though there were a few things I wasn't thrilled by (mostly on Colbert's part), I was impressed.

Tim not only talked about People-First Language (which we appreciated)...

but it was the dialogue about the "R" word that got us.

In fact, after we heard it, we rewound it and listened again.

Then we rewound it again.

We looked at each other and smiled.

Have you experienced a time when you hear something and wish it had been you that said it? A time when you feel like holding your picket sign a little higher? A time when you feel like throwing out some "that's-what-I'm-talkin'-'bout" attitude? A time when you think that, if you were standing among friends with the same beliefs, you'd hear a loud "AMEN!" from the back of the crowd?

That's what I felt.

And every other word, I paused it... then rewound a little... then paused it again...

You guessed it.

I wrote it down.

* * * * *

Colbert: "You say that you cannot use the word... even as a character you cannot use the word."

Shriver: "I didn't say you cannot..." (interrupted by Colbert)

Colbert: "Isn't that 'thought police'? That's 'thought police.'"

Shriver: "I don't want to be a cop; I want to be a teacher. You're allowed to be humiliating, degrading, and hurtful. I'm allowed to petition you to at least recognize what you say and be aware of the option you have to stop."

* * * * *

Well said.

Okay, and I've gotta say it....

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

World Down Syndrome Day: Still There

2011-03-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Today is World Down Syndrome Day.

Last year, on this day, I wrote about Reece's Rainbow, an International Down Syndrome Orphan Ministry, and shared our family's experience with donating to the adoption fund of a little boy named Antonio*.

(* If you read my blog post last year, you will see that I call him Alexander. There was a little mix-up at first at Reece's Rainbow as to the little boy's name... when you're dealing with hundreds of children and people speaking different languages overseas, there's bound to be some mix-ups here and there! However, we found out his name was Antonio. Just didn't want you to wonder if you noticed the name difference. And if you didn't notice, then nevermind.)

Adding to Antonio's adoption fund really felt good. It felt like we were doing something to help. I really liked that the kids were involved and, at some level, understood we were helping this little boy. (According to them, we were "sending money to buy him a Mom and Dad." Ummm..... close enough.)

Having the neat ornament from Reece's Rainbow to thank us was just icing on the cake... we liked seeing Antonio's face on our tree, and I thought about him a lot through the holidays.

Then, the seasons changed... ornaments were wrapped up carefully and stored. The Christmas tree was ~~jammed into the box it came in though we had no idea how it fit in there~~ put away, and life for us marched on into the new year.

I won't say that I stopped thinking about Antonio. There were days when I didn't stop thinking about him, and what it might be like to travel over to his country and scoop him up and bring him to our house.

But there were days that were filled with spelling words and muddy shoes and laundry and swinging on the swingset and cleaning gum out of the carpet and riding bikes and kissing owies, and I didn't think about Antonio.

In some ways, the year went quickly, and before we knew it, we were unwrapping the ornaments again.

When we came across Antonio's ornament, we were quickly reminded that it was time.

Time to pick out another child to help.

So, just as we had done the year before, the kids climbed up on my lap in the office chair. We typed in reecesrainbow.org and were ready to find another sweet, deserving child.

And as we looked, it was difficult to find one child that stood out more than the others... we knew all of them were deserving of a family, and so it didn't really matter who we picked.

And then we saw him.

"Antonio"

It was a really indescribable feeling. Part of my heart felt as though I had just reconnected with a long-lost family member... part of my heart felt as though he was my child, and I had "lost" him for some time but he was back... and part of my heart was simply broken.

He was still there.

All of those days, when the kids were outside playing, laughing... ~~arguing~~ ... he was still there.

All of those Friday nights, when our family was having a "Popcorn/Movie" night, he was still there.

All of those moments that families share... we were sharing them, and he was still there.

It wasn't hard to pick out the child we were going to help.

He was still there.

And so, once again, the kids knew we were "sending money to buy Antonio a Mom and Dad."

And once again, Antonio's beautiful face hung on our Christmas tree... his face a little older, but still recognizable as the beautiful face that hung on our tree the year before.

Neither of the kids asked why Antonio was still there.

Neither asked why he didn't have a Mom and Dad yet.

But I wanted to.

* * * * *

Please consider donating to Antonio's adoption fund today in honor of World Down Syndrome Day.

My heart knows his family is out there... maybe a family is ready to bring him home with the help of a few more dollars in his fund.

This Christmas, when the kids and I sit down to pick out a Reece's Rainbow child to help...

I don't want to see Antonio's face.

* * * * *

For more information, visit Reece's Rainbow or World Down Syndrome Day.

Wordless Wednesday (Like Mother Like Daughter... and Son!)

2011-03-09T08:47:00.003-06:00

Taken Care

2011-03-07T20:53:00.001-06:00

After posting about Rylee's love of babies, I got to thinking about everything Rylee has done for her babies.

She's taught babies how to go potty on the toilet...

February 2008

and shared kisses and cuddles.

February 2009

She's smiled and posed for photos with them...

May 2008

April 2009

and made sure they were smiling and posing right along side her.

March 2010

August 2009

She's played with them,

April 2010

June 2010

kept them clean,

June 2010

and included them in the summer fun of a movie at the drive-in.

May 2010

She's read to them,

July 2010

laughed with them,

August 2009

and always kept them safe.

July 2010

July 2010

Yes, Rylee has done a lot for her babies. But in turn, her babies have done a lot for her.

Baby Megan accompanied Rylee to her sleep study so she wasn't lonely.

May 2009

She let Rylee do an echo on her heart so Rylee would feel comfortable at her annual cardiology appointment,

June 2010

and she held Rylee's hand at her eye exam.

July 2010

Yes, Rylee has always taken care of her babies,

July 2009

but, without Rylee even knowing, her babies have always taken care of her.

(Note: Most of the photos are of Rylee and her doll, Megan. Actually, I should say my doll, Megan, as she was mine when I was a little girl! I have such a warm, reminiscent feeling when I see Rylee playing with her! Rylee does a great job taking care of Megan... however, I do think that Megan wore clothes more often when I was her Mom!)

Spread the Word to End the Word

2011-03-02T00:00:00.001-06:00

It's time again. Time to remind ourselves that our words have incredible power.

The words I wrote last year to celebrate this day still ring true today.

But before I take us back, I want to say thank you.

If you are someone who used to use the "R" word, but now stop yourself... thank you.

If you are someone who used to stay quiet when someone around you used the "R" word, but now have found the courage (and the polite words) to correct someone, thank you.

That's how things change. One person at a time.

Thank you.

Reposted from March 2010

Spread the Word to End the Word is an ongoing effort by Special Olympics and other supporters to raise the consciousness of society about the dehumanizing and hurtful effects of the word "retard(ed)" and encourage people to pledge to stop using the R-word.

There has been a lot in the media these last few months about the R-word. Something about Rush Limbaugh. Apparently an episode of the Family Guy. Words said by Rahm Emanuel. Reactions by Sarah Palin.

I'll be honest. I'm not sure exactly what it was all about. I'm not very good at following the news, ~~nor do I even know who Rahm Emanuel is.~~ From the bits and pieces I have heard and read, it sounds like there were R-words thrown around, jokes made, and most likely huge amounts of poor judgement used.

I was actually much more offended, hurt, and even angered by people's use of the R-word when we first had Rylee than I am now. I know. It sounds weird. You'd think as a Mom of a child with Down syndrome that I'd be picketing in front of courthouses to actually make using the R-word illegal. But I'm not.

Let me explain.

Do I think that people use the R-word in derogatory ways without thinking -- that more often than not, it's used out of ignorance and not out of trying to be hurtful?

Yes.

Do I think it's okay simply because they don't realize how they are using the word?

Of course not. (I also think people use the word "gay" in the same derogatory way and that should stop, too.)

Do I want Rylee to face a society that will make jokes at her expense?

Absolutely not.

Does my heart break at the thought of having her feelings hurt?

For sure.

Will I do what I can to educate those around us that words hurt? Will I be sure our kids understand the power of our words?

Absolutely.

However...

Do I want to teach our kids that other people's opinions of them matter?

No.

Do I want to teach Rylee that Down syndrome defines her? That what a political commentator says, what a TV show script reads, or what a stranger on the street utters defines her?

Absolutely not.

Do I want to teach our kids that the way to respond to ignorance is anger?

No.

Do I want our kids to surround themselves with people who love them, value them, and respect them?

Of course.

Do I want them to have the skills and self-confidence to handle themselves diplomatically when they, inevitably, come across someone who says something unkind about them?

Absolutely.

Just like everything in life, it's balance.

So, after I politely correct a person I hear use the R-word flippantly without any thought as to what they're really saying...

I will turn to Rylee and say, "But it doesn't really matter what they say, does it?"

Rylee Jayne, February 2011

* * * * *

Click here to take the "Spread the Word to End the Word" pledge.

Read Rylee's Letter "A Little Bit About the 'R' Word" (written August 2008.) You can also click here to download her letter.

And Then She Was Seven

2011-02-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

(Just catching up on some posts I've had sitting in my "drafts" folder. I often find myself starting a post way too late at night, and shortly into it realize that I'm simply too tired to finish it... or to make it clever or funny or remotely interesting for people to read! Suddenly, 3 months have passed and it's still staring at me from "drafts." I'm determined to hit "post" on this one tonight!)

* * * * *

In November, Dora and Boots helped us celebrate Rylee's birthday!

Family members did well choosing gifts --

Rylee's V. Reader (electronic toy by V.Tech), is a favorite now...

and, as you know from this post, you can't go wrong with a baby doll that crawls right to ya!

There were smiles and posing (and secret licks of the frosting on the edge of the cake during photos.)

Candles were blown out...

And then she was seven.

* * * * *

This part alternately titled: "Four Friends.. and a Little Brother"

Turning seven calls for more than just a family celebration, so Rylee invited 4 girlfriends from 1st grade to join her at the Dance Studio (where she takes Adaptive Dance) for a "Friend Party!"

The girls (and little brother) twirled and leapt and spun and hopped and twirled some more... and with the help of Miss Meghan, they learned a little choreographed routine to a cute song from the movie The Princess and the Frog.

Then, the girls dressed up for their "final performance." And though their dresses were all the same, they all showed off their individuality -- socks or no socks, pants or no pants, tiara or no tiara.

And after the final bow, the dresses and butterfly wings were carefully hung back on their hangers... and the girls (and little brother) dashed into the other room where balloons and cake and ice cream and presents waited.

The girls (and little brother) sang "Happy Birthday," off key and with an additional verse that I never knew existed.

Candles were blown out...

And then she was seven.

Wordless Wednesday (Irresistible)

2011-02-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

Love

2011-02-14T00:00:00.001-06:00

I love it when we're playing Hide-and-Seek, and he counts, "One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleventeen... twelveteen... thirteen....."

I love it when we're in the car and I spontaneously hear, "Mom? I love you."

I love when I pull up to school to drop her off, she has several friends who spot our car and run up to the sidewalk, saying "Rylee! Rylee!" and give her hugs when she gets out.

I love when she draws me pictures and gives them to me... and then takes them back and tells me she changed her mind and they're really for Dad.

I love when he and I are at Wal-mart and he asks for a sticker from the nice lady at the door... he always asks if he can have another one to give Rylee when she comes home from school.

I love it when he tries to look mad, but can't keep a smile from sneaking onto his face.

I love it when we play Hide-and-Seek and I say, "Hmmm... I wonder where Rylee is!" as I'm looking... and she shouts, "Mom! I'm here in the closet!"

I love it when we're at the store and she tells all the people in the aisle we're in what we're shopping for.

I love when he watches Go, Diego, Go! and then spends the next few hours making up Spanish words for things.

I love it that some nights he wants me to sleep in his bed with him, and that he makes up cute little reasons why I should, like "the back of my legs hurt, and I think they would feel better if you slept with me."

I love it when she laughs so hard that her eyes tear up.

I love when she lines her baby dolls and stuffed animals up on her bed along the wall and reads to them.

* * * * *

I love to think about Valentine's Day, seven years ago, when Jeremy and I flew home from the Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan where Rylee had her open-heart surgery.

Rylee, the day before surgery - January 2004

I love thinking about the time Jeremy and I had together during Rylee's hospital stay... and though there were super-tough moments, there were also really great moments of seeing Rylee heal and eating Wendy's frosties at all hours of the night.

Rylee, a few hours after open-heart surgery - January 2004

I love thinking about the time we had together, holding and kissing and hugging and singing as she healed.

Recovering from surgery - February 2004

I love thinking about her increased energy after her heart was repaired... her smiles came more frequently and her giggles weren't as tiring for her.

Home with a healthy heart! - February 2004

I love that today, her body can handle the "moderate heart valve leakage"/heart murmur and that we only do annual check-ups with cardiology.

And I love all the doctors and nurses who cared for Rylee, and who helped make it possible for her to be here with us today!

Lots to love...

Happy Heart Day!

Winter Smiles

2011-02-12T17:04:00.001-06:00

Babies

2011-02-08T20:50:00.001-06:00

They've always been "babies."

Rylee loves them.

It's quite often the first thing she plays with, especially after school.

Coat off. Shoes off. Backpack hung.

Down the hall. Into her room.

Door shuts.

Alone time.

We all need it.

But she's not really alone. Her babies welcome her home.

"Need a bottle, baby?"

"Awwww... it's okay sweetie."

It's so sweet listening to her talk to them. I often wish I could watch her play with her babies without her knowing I'm there. Sometimes, she will leave her door open slightly, which gives me a chance to ~~spy~~ observe.

She usually lines them up along the base of her bed, and they sit up ~~nice and tall~~ as tall as you can when you're made of stuffing. Some of them are dressed. Most of them are not. Quite often a stuffed animal or two wind up in the bunch. You know... the baby that sneezes next to Elmo. The Cat in the Hat next to the baby with the wild hair that we call "Outside Baby." (This is the baby Rylee plays with outside in the summer because we don't care if she gets sand in her eyes... the baby, that is. Not Rylee. Sand in Rylee's eyes would be of concern to me.)

Anyway, Rylee feeds her babies. She makes them "birthday cakes" (and when I ask her how old they are, she usually says, "three one.") She gets out her plastic food for them. (Which reminds me... I need to talk to her about appropriate food for babies. The other day I saw her feeing her baby a steak.)

She changes their clothes. Actually, she mostly takes their clothes off. (Should that be of concern to me?) I often play babies with her, and that's when the babies finally get dressed. We find which clothes go with which babies, and Rylee helps me dress them. Not sure why we do it. Good fine motor activity, I guess. Maybe it gives the babies a chance to warm up. But, it isn't long before the babies are back in their birthday suits.

If you ask her what her babies' names are, she will tell you, "Baby." (It makes sense... with so many babies, it really does lessen your chances of calling one the wrong name.) Of course, there are exceptions... "Outside Baby" and "Megan" (a doll that was mine when I was a little girl) have unique names. Everyone else is just "Baby."

A few days ago she was feeding her baby a bottle.

Rylee wanted to reach for a book, and I saw her hold the bottle in the baby's mouth with her chin as she reached.

A natural, I tell ya.

Do I wonder if she will decide to become a Mom when she grows up? Sometimes.

Is it possible? Yes. There are lots of ways to become a Mom.

Is it probable? Who knows.

But there are also lots of ways she can help take care of babies (or children) without actually having to take on the enormous responsibility of being a "Mom."

I'm confident she will find a way if that's what makes her happy.

For now, I love watching her with her babies. It warms my heart.

*****

After taking these sweet photos of Rylee with her baby, I glanced over at the chair beside her.

Admit it.

None of us are perfect Moms.

Inside

2011-02-03T21:40:00.003-06:00

It's where we've been lately.

No one really wants to hear any more about the weather.

We've got snow.

It's more-than-freezing cold.

Enough said.

Instead, I'll share with you what we've been doing on our "school-less" days!

* * * * *

Reading to babies in pajamas.

Playing detective in a winter mystery.

"Hiding" under upside-down laundry baskets.

Racing Lightning McQueen on train tracks.

Holding photo shoots for ~~naked~~ baby dolls.

Making fake, goofy smiles while gathering up Toy Story toys.

Stamping names with extra letters at the end.

Building buses,

and cars,

and trains.

Laughing at Mom for singing "Itsy, Bitsy Spider" with the wrong words.

Watching Toy Story 3 (and making more cheesy smiles) with the movie stars themselves.

Pretending to be a sleeping dog.

* * * * *

Inside.

It's been fun.

(But I sure wouldn't mind if the Groundhog is right.)

And Celebrate We Did!

2011-01-23T01:14:00.008-06:00

Lots of teenagers. Lots of dancing.

Were we nuts? Possibly.... but....

Lots of laughs and lots of fun!

Jeremy and I have a week to recover before Jordyn's birthday party with family... somehow, I think that one won't be quite so overwhelming!

(A big thank you to all of our friends who helped chaperone... definitely couldn't have done it without you!)

Happy Birthday Jordyn! Hope this was a birthday to remember! Love ya!

Big

2011-01-22T10:06:00.004-06:00

Tonight, we celebrate.

And we're gonna celebrate BIG!

Same and Different

2011-01-18T22:26:00.001-06:00

I was about 20 weeks pregnant. We'd had a "Triple Screen" done, simply because it was just one of several other routine screenings and tests my OB did with her patients. I don't even recall thinking anything of it when we had it done. (I guess I was more concerned with figuring out how to put an end to my 24-hour "morning" sickness.) Jeremy and I didn't talk about any "what if's"... we weren't nervous about what the results of the screening might be. We just had it done, and that was that.

I clearly remember sitting on our bed when the clinic called. The results of the screening had come back "inconclusive" for Down syndrome, and it was recommended that we come in for an ultrasound.

I hung up the phone. I didn't cry. I didn't feel a sense of loss. There wasn't grief or devastation. It was quite simple: I thought to myself, "Yes, our baby will have Down syndrome."

*****

I first "met" Kelle last year when I read her blog entry about the birth of her daughter, Nella. Kelle did not know during her pregnancy that Nella would have Down syndrome, and Kelle so eloquently described her feelings of sadness, grief, and devastation when learning of the diagnosis.

Nella's story spread quickly, and millions began to follow Kelle's blog. (You may remember me telling you about her blog here.) Through her beautiful photographs and inspiring writing, she has shared her first year with Nella, and we now see Kelle has reached the place that those of us with children with Down syndrome all reach in our own time.

The place where beauty is found in unexpected places and the true meaning of unconditional love is learned.

The place where differences are valued and even the seemingly "small" accomplishments are big, and are celebrated.

The place where the unlimited potential of our children is easily seen, and the dreams we have for them are immeasurable.

*****

To celebrate Nella's upcoming first birthday, Kelle wanted to give back to other kids and adults like Nella, so last week, she created Nella's ONEder Fund. She decided that all donations would go to the National Down Syndrome Society, an organization that works to "create a culture that fully accepts" individuals with Down syndrome.

Kelle set a very ambitious goal of $15,000. However, in less than 24 hours, the goal had already been met. As people all across the ~~country~~ world donated $5... $10... or $20, these supporters also blogged, Facebooked and Tweeted about it. The word of this incredible fund spread like wildfire, and as the goal was met, it was increased. Now, 5 days later, the goal is $75,000.

And you know what?

That goal has almost been met.

*****

Watch this... be inspired (and pay close attention at 3 minutes and 10 seconds.)

Click here to donate.

*****

Kelle and I may have come into the "world of Down syndrome" differently... we may be at different points in our journey... but our dreams for our girls are the same.

We want them to live in a world where differences are celebrated.

Not just tolerated or accepted.... but celebrated.

(I mean, really... how can you not celebrate this face?)

Rylee Jayne - 10 months old

Results

2011-01-16T13:55:00.001-06:00

The results of this snow day project finally dried, and turned out really cute! The kids loved the "magic" of cutting on the line I drew, opening up the folded paper only to find it was a HEART! (Don't tell them everyone on earth knows that's how you make a paper heart... they think I'm a genius.)

Rylee isn't a big "arts and crafts" girl. Usually it takes me longer to get everything ready to make the project than it does the time Rylee spends on doing the project. But I try not to let that stop me from making things with her. (It helps that Carter is old enough to do projects with us -- I think he extends her time by a few minutes by working along side her!) She is a simple little girl. A few heart stamps here. Some paint strokes there. A little glue and a couple shakes of the glitter and she's content.

When I get a little discouraged that she doesn't want to do more -- "Don't you want some more hearts here? Look at all of this white space, hon. You can use these cool stamps here... or maybe some lace?" -- I remind myself that maybe she's the one teaching me. Less is more. Simple is good.

And the hearts...what or who Rylee loves: Mom, Dad, "Jord" (Jordyn), Carter, Zoe and Tessa.

And no, don't rack your brain, trying to remember if we have a cat named "Tessa", or if somehow 2010 really DID fly by and you hadn't realized we had a baby. No baby here.

Tessa is her friend... her BEST friend, to be more accurate. And the best friend anyone could ever have. She's an amazing little girl who Rylee met last year in Kindergarten, and now loves her just like family. (In fact, Tessa was the first name she wrote on a heart... even before Mom and Dad!)

Carter could have cut hearts out for days... he was the one most impressed by "Mom's magical hearts!" And if you want to win that little boy's heart, just give him glitter! He was a- shakin' and a- shakin' -- though you couldn't tell that from his project because quite often he was so excited to shake the glitter that he forgot the glue first!

And the hearts...what or who Carter loves:
("Mom, you jus wite the woods (just write the words) 'cause I'm tired from shakin' the gitter.")

Toys, Mom, Dad, Rylee, Jordyn, Zoe, friends, house, and "ME!"

*****

More results: An Update on Rylee's Neck/Spine

(You can read the beginning of this "story" here and here.)

Many of you have asked where we're at with this, and we surely appreciate everyone's thoughts! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner... it's just that I don't really have much more to report!

Shortly before Christmas, the surgeon in Philadelphia called. He'd had a chance to look over Rylee's x-rays, MRI scans, and medical reports done here. He said that Rylee does have instability at extreme flexion and extension because he definitely sees it on the x-rays; however he believes that it didn't show up on the MRI because her neck wasn't flexed/extended as much during the MRI as it was on the x-ray. So basically, we aren't comparing apples to apples when comparing x-rays to MRI scans.

His suggestion was to continue the limitations we have on Rylee's activities (no gymnastics, trampolines, or any activities that of course put pressure on her neck.) He recommended that we have new x-rays and MRI scans done in the next several months.

We have some follow-up questions for the surgeon, and are waiting to connect with him to ask those. Based on his answers, we will then need to decide if we will have the x-rays and MRI scans done here, or if we need to fly to Philly to have him do them.

So, thanks for your continued thoughts! We'll keep you posted as we know more!

Snow Days

2011-01-11T23:21:00.007-06:00

Snow Days mean colorful ink pads and heart stamps...

scraps of lace and lots of glitter.

Snow days mean glue bottles and paper hearts...

heart-shaped sponges and paint-covered hands.

Snow days mean red Bingo Dabbers,

more glitter,

and more paint.

Snow days mean fun for the kids, and even a little fun for Mom.

The result? You'll have to wait. The projects won't be dry for ~~six~~ two days.

(Just noticed my copyright still says 2010. Too tired from all the glitter fun today to go back to change them! Will get it changed for next time!)

Spelling in the Kitchen

2011-01-09T23:18:00.003-06:00

Did you know the dishwasher can be a very educational tool?

"is" and "big" were two of her spelling words last week... anyone figure out what the other 3 words were?

A New Beginning

2011-01-06T23:05:00.000-06:00

A new year.

A new beginning.

The time when you can start all over.

You start making your bed each day.

You begin writing more neatly in your brand new day planner.

You make each meal with thought, and if you had a chart of the 5 food groups on your wall, you could proudly check off each group every single meal.

You vow to show more patience, and when it takes your 3-year-old 15 minutes to put on his (velcro) shoes, you smile and praise him.

You commit to yourself that every day your son has preschool, you will head to the gym and spend the time getting ~~skinny~~ healthy.

But by February, you'll have your decorative bed pillows back in their permanent home (in the closet) and you'll already have 5 things messily scribbled out in your day planner.

By March, you'll have served a handful of meals that consisted of frozen pizzas or frozen chicken nuggets... and nothing else.

In April, you'll find yourself sighing and muttering "Please hurry up!" to your kids when they take way more time than necessary to put on their seat belts.

And in ~~May~~ February, you'll have already talked yourself out of going to the gym "just this one time" because you really need to return some things to Target and need to get the oil changed in your car, and it's just easier to do some things without kids with you.

Intentions were there... and they were good.

Life just got in the way!

The Big First Day

2010-12-27T17:30:00.000-06:00

(We're taking a break from all the fun holiday festivities to catch up on some blogging! So, mentally take down your Christmas tree, melt some snow, and rewind to September for me!)

*****

Preschool.

How it was going to go (for him and for me) was definitely uncertain.

In the months leading up to this big day, the mood looked grim.

Many "preschool preparation conversations" ended something like, "No mom, I not goin' to pre-sool... I stayin' wif you."

However, there were glimpses of hope from time to time. (Say, when I mentioned being able to play with new toys or have yummy snacks... yes, you could say I was doing all I could to "sell preschool" at our house!)

So, we did what we often do.

We posted our countdown...

and read books about going to preschool.

When the day came, Carter really acted quite indifferent about going. He asked a lot of questions, especially about me coming back to get him. But, he really seemed okay with going.

We posed for our typical first-day-of-school pictures...

and I took him to school.

His teacher helped him hang his things in his cubby,

and he excitedly put his very first "Letter Show-and-Tell" in the special preschool mailbox -- a big plastic apple container I had for letter "A." (I realize not everyone has a big plastic apple container laying around... just a reminder that I used to be a Kindergarten teacher. I'm not that weird. Well, now that I think about it, it might be a little odd even for a Kindergarten teacher to have a big plastic apple container. So maybe I am weird. Moving on.)

The time came. He was there, backpack was hung, big plastic apple container in mailbox...

time for Mom to leave.

Then you get that little twinge of "This is a first... and a last. It's exciting and emotional and a moment that I'll never get back."

Balance. It is always about balance.

What did I want to do? Well, I wanted ask him to pose with every one of his classmates, both of his teachers, and stand in front of each play area in the classroom so I could get pictures. I wanted to tear up and give him a big hug and tell him how grown up he was and how much I would miss him ~~though a tiny little bit of me was excited to get groceries without being asked 17 times if I would buy a new Buzz Lightyear and some gum.~~ I wanted to stay there with him the whole time to be sure that all of the kids were nice to him, and that he could get his pants down by himself to go to the bathroom, and that he said "please" and "thank you" at snack time.

But I didn't.

I took a few pictures, told him to have a fun time, ~~and waited to tear up until I got to the car.~~

There was a moment... just when I thought he had decided preschool may not be the place for him, that he found something in the classroom. Something that I will never forget.

A little plastic green army guy.

From Toy Story.

Just like the little plastic green army guys that he'd been eying in the stores.

It was all good after that.

(Notice the army guy in his hand...)

So, he was fine with me leaving. In fact, if I remember correctly, I had to ask for a hug.

And every Mom wants that. Every Mom is thrilled when her son or daughter is okay without her... it tells her that she has done a good job at fostering independence and confidence.

(But then again every Mom has a teeny tiny little bit of her that wishes her son or daughter would show a little hesitation when she left... wouldn't that make her feel important, loved, and needed?)

A mixture of feelings.

As most milestones are.

I don't remember what I did that first morning he was at preschool. I probably did, in fact, go to the grocery store. I probably kept looking at the time to see when I needed to go get him. I probably arrived back at school 30 minutes before I really needed to be there.

After he came out, he was (and still is) very excited to see me, which is such a fun feeling. (I don't get that very often because the kids are with me so much... that whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing really is true.)

He couldn't even wait to get to the car to show me what he had.

Move that big 'ole plastic apple out of the way...

"Mom! Look what I found!"

A pinecone.

******

The next few weeks of preschool were a bit tougher than that first day. It was one of those, "Oh that was fun... now I can stay home with you, Mom. What? Oh. You mean I'm going back 2 times a week? For how long?"

Carter has gone to Preschool for 4 months now, and he really likes it. His teachers are great, his classmates (8 other kids) are fun, and he's learning lots of new things. I think he's decided that Preschool is pretty cool. (The little green army guys helped.)

So, "The Big First Day" came and went.

Seems like we anticipate milestones like that for awhile, prepare as much as we can, (for our kids and for us) and before we know it, the milestone has come and gone.

Now, it's just a matter of time when another "Big First Day" rolls around.

Holiday Preparation

2010-12-22T23:56:00.001-06:00

We've had holiday decorations unpacked,

and outstretched arms.

Balancing acts on chairs,

and delicate ornament placement.

We've had fun with photos,

and tree admiration.

Cookie-baking,

(don't be too impressed... it was the pre-made cookie dough, and the pre-portioned cookie dough at that)

and book-reading.

We've had obsessions with Scotch tape,

(you know wrapping presents is much easier with the end of your tongue sticking out a bit.)

and name-writing practice.

Tree decorating,

and belly-laughs at Mom singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

We've had successful lessons in teamwork,

and not-so-successful lessons in even distribution.

Moments of feeling a sense of accomplishment,

and moments of feeling togetherness and love.

We've had playdates with friends,

and sticky glue-covered fingers.

We're as ready as we'll ever be for Christmas!

Hope everyone has a great holiday with family and friends!

Courtside View

2010-12-22T10:25:00.004-06:00

If It Were Up To Him...

2010-12-19T11:49:00.004-06:00

we would live in Florida.

It Really Isn't Christmas...

2010-12-14T22:27:00.013-06:00

Oh, the Elementary School Music Christmas Program.

...the parents, rushing from home after throwing together a quick supper for the kids... one parent with a video camera bag tossed over one shoulder and the camera bag tossed over the other... the other parent towing the tripod and clinging to the hand of the younger sibling who already has to go to the bathroom, despite having gone 6 minutes ago.

...the teachers, all dressed in their best, rounding up students and counting heads and hushing loud voices and getting all the kids in order.

...the bribes and promises of treats to young siblings if they will be quiet and sit still for the length of the program... (and the prayers that the length of the program doesn't last longer than an episode of Go, Diego, Go.)

...the Grandmas, wearing their fanciest Christmas sweaters, reading through the program to see if dear grandchild's name is listed anywhere, and the Grandpas, visiting with other Grandpas a few rows down, discussing the most recent snowstorm.

And then it begins.

The lights dim and the curtain opens and there is a sudden commotion in the audience as the parents, who are quite old enough to know they should be sitting quietly, can't resist the urge to wave with the hopes that little Sally will see where they are sitting and smile at them.

Oh, and the kids. The performers. They do nothing but make me smile.

The little boy with gel in his hair and a crooked tie... the little girl with a big smile on her face, curls in her hair, and tights already sliding down her legs... another boy that seems to be wearing what he wore to school that day because everyone knows it was Chicken Nugget day and he has a ketchup stain on his shirt...

and we have the little girl who's not much of a dress girl, but is decked out in a shimmery little black dress, glittery tights, and cute little dress shoes.... a little girl who obviously should have practiced wearing her dress before the program, as during song #1, she discovers the big bow on the front of her dress, sticks her hand through one of the loops, and spends nearly the length of song #2 trying to get her hand out of the loop. (Yup, she was ours.)

Some kids know the songs and sing as if their life depended on it... others toss some words in here and there, but are more distracted by the little boy in the 3rd row who is whispering to his neighbor. Some kids are doing the actions to the songs precisely as taught... others are watching everyone else because during practices they were more concerned with talking to their friends than listening to the teacher.

We have the songs about needing teeth for Christmas, waiting for Santa to come, and wanting peace for the world. It's all there. We have some songs where instruments are necessary, and while the audience should be listening to the cute words of the song, instead they are more amused by the little boy who doesn't figure out how to untangle the loop on his jingle bells until the song is over.

There are the periodic, bright flashes from cameras, (despite the large sign on every entrance to the theatre that flash photography is discouraged.) Video cameras are running, younger siblings are hushed, ~~and threats are whispered when the auditorium seat springs up, making a loud sound and turning heads.~~

Holiday wishes are given, bows are taken, and the curtain is drawn.

The music teacher remembers that rehearsal on Friday went much better than the final performance, but breaths a huge sigh of relief that it's over, (and is thankful that Christmas only comes once a year.)

Parents grab their camera bags and bulky winter coats and younger siblings' hands and head through the sea of families to find their little star.

Hugs are given, more pictures are taken, and everyone bussles out the door and into the cold evening.

It really isn't Christmas until the Elementary School Music Christmas Program.

Happy Holidays 2010

2010-12-08T01:42:00.003-06:00

And Now They Are...

2010-11-26T17:44:00.003-06:00

on!

Flashback Friday (Thanksgiving Edition)

2010-11-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

Two years ago on Thanksgiving, we all gathered on the couch for a quick snapshot with our new family member. Zoe, our Puggle (beagle/pug mix) had just joined our family.

A sweet little puppy, almost 9 weeks old, sat contently in Jordyn's hand.

Thanksgiving 2008

Jordyn (13) Rylee (5) Carter (1) Zoe (8 weeks)

As photos were taken, there were "Awww, she's so cute!" and "Look at how she just cuddles right up to me!" to be heard.

Fast forward 2 years.

This time, as photos were taken, there were, "ZOE! NO!" and "She's getting hair all over my shirt!" and "She won't sit still!" to be heard.

But, determined to duplicate the moment we'd had 2 years earlier, I clicked away at my camera's shutter.

And this is what we got.

And finally, all smiles... and a death grip around the neck of a rambunctious dog by our 7 year old.

Thanksgiving 2010

Jordyn (15) Rylee (7) Carter (3) Zoe (2)

Let's do another one... (and this time, nothing with 4 legs please.)

"Mom, do you want Zoe to be in our photo with you?"

"Thanks anyway hon, but I'm good."

A few years ago, I would've been disappointed that I didn't get a photo of Zoe sitting all calm and cute, looking at the camera along with everyone else.

But I'm going for "perfectly imperfect" these days, remember?

And these "perfectly imperfect" moments are definitely ones in which I am thankful.

Thanksgiving Math

2010-11-24T22:52:00.010-06:00

2 large pieces of paper

+ 8 brand new washable markers

+ 2 creative kids

= 2 works of art showing appreciation for "Rylee, Carter, Jordyn, Mom, Dad and Zoe" (and apparently more of those cookies she draws so well)

and "me, my family, Woody, a rocket, and toys."

Oh, and don't forget to add one very proud, thankful Mom.

Good News Bad News

2010-11-19T12:33:00.004-06:00

The good news...

The clinic that we are getting Rylee's medical records from (for our 2nd opinion on her spine) called to say that they were ready for me to pick up (a few days sooner than they had originally told me.)

The bad news...

There are very important parts missing... you know, like the radiology report from the initial x-ray done.

The good news...

The CD of x-rays and MRI scans was included, and is very nicely labeled.

The bad news...

There are about 30 various folders and files on it, and none of them open.

The good news...

I called the office and the woman on the phone was incredibly kind.

The bad news...

She told me that the radiology report done after the x-ray was done by the pediatric radiologist, and she is apparently located in a different office. Because of that, I need to go in to her office and sign a different release of records. Then, I can wait another 5 days for that office to get those records copied.

The good news...

I am usually a very patient and understanding person.

The bad news...

I'm getting a little frustrated.

Makeover

2010-11-19T00:11:00.009-06:00

What do you think?

It's a work in progress. (I promise you won't have to see the same 2 slides of photos at the top over and over... and over and over for very long! I mean, seriously... I took 789 photos in October. I think I can find a few more to add!)

I didn't plan on a new blog look until the end of the year. You know, I'm the type of person who would wait until January 1, 2011 to show off a whole new look!

Starting a new look at an illogical time (November 18... well, I guess it's now the 19th) just wouldn't be me.

But, I did it.

Wow. I even surprise myself sometimes.

Keep watching! The makeover has just begun!

Oh, and since it just isn't right to post something without photos (you know, since I have 789 to choose from) here are a few of the kids showing off their self-portraits.

Rylee drew herself with a friend... I could be wrong, but I think they are sharing a cookie.

And Carter... well, if that portrait doesn't make you smile, not sure what will! (And you can't help but think about how darn handy it would be to have that many arms at times.)

What's In a Name?

2010-11-11T20:44:00.002-06:00

Earlier this year, I shared Rylee's journey to name-writing.

Now, it's someone else's turn.

******

Carter started out loving crayons like most kids do...

February 2008

10 months old

He was actually more of a painting kind of guy...

July 2008

1 year 3 months

and no matter what (or where) he painted

June 2009

2 years 2 months

he enjoyed it!

June 2010

3 years 2 months

He did like showing his creativity in other ways,

June 2010

3 years 2 months

but it wasn't until this summer that he really embraced creativity with drawing & writing.

(gotta love the tongue)

June 2010

3 years 2 months

And though he still enjoys painting...

September 2010

3 years 5 months

these days he is all about WRITING!

After a very short-lived phase of tracing the letters in his name that I wrote, he took off.

(writing on Rylee's birthday card... upside down)

Now, if you ask him, he's got...

"a 'C'..... that one letter...... an 'r'...... a 't'....... an 'over, up and around'..... and an 'r'."

Sometimes the "t" sneaks in front of the 1st "r", and the "over, up and around" is often backward, but all the letters are there.

November 2010

3 years 7 months

And above those letters is a smiling, marker-covered little boy, proud to show off his name!

Pursuing a 2nd Opinion

2010-11-11T09:42:00.016-06:00

After our appointment with the local pediatric orthopedic surgeon, we made the decision to seek a 2nd opinion on Rylee's neck/spine. Thanks to a friend from Tennessee who's daughter underwent AAI/AOI spine fusion surgery several years ago, she made a recommendation. She (along with others I'd talked with) said that the Shriner's Hospital in Philadelphia was the place to go for this. The surgeon there was an expert and dealt with AAI/AOI frequently.

So, yesterday morning I dialed the number she'd given me, assuming I would be connected with a receptionist. I would do my best to make our long story short... the receptionist would do her best to take notes to pass along to the surgeon's nurse, who would then give me a call back several days later. Making the connection might take awhile...

You can imagine how surprised I was to hear the voicemail of the surgeon himself! Man, this friend of mine truly hooked me up! (Thanks Renee!)

Not knowing how long a message the voicemail would allow, I spoke quickly. (I'm famous for having to call people back to finish my message, and I didn't really want to have to do that this time!) I tried to summarize our story, ending it all with the request that he be our 2nd opinion.

(We were hoping to send Rylee's x-rays and MRI scans out there for review...)

I assumed that it would be a day or more before he called back, but the rest of the day, each time my cell phone rang, I glanced around to see if it was an appropriate time to talk, if it were to be the surgeon.

Ring... ring. (Glancing around... "hmmm, I'm driving in the car, but I could pull over into the IHOP parking lot and try to keep the kids quiet by giving them this 1/2 eaten bag of popcorn from yesterday.)

"Hello?" (not him)

Ring... ring. (Glancing around... "in the bathroom, going to the bathroom... well, not ideal but probably could get away with it if I don't flush.)

"Hello?" (not him)

Ring... ring. (Glancing around... in my office, kids are playing in their rooms... this might work!)

"Hello?" (HIM!)

What a kind and generous man! We talked for nearly 20 minutes. I gave him the low-down, and he listened. I mean really listened... not like a half-listen sort of "let's just appease this talkative South Dakota woman to get her off the phone and get on with my busy life." Renee said he was wonderful, and she was absolutely right! He said he would be more than happy to look over Rylee's x-rays and MRI scans. He gave me his assistant's address and said that he would look them over within a day or two of receiving them and give me a call back with his thoughts/recommendations. It was such a positive phone call, and I was grateful to have had a friend recommend him. (Thanks again Renee... I owe ya!)

*****

And so you'd think that would be the latest, but it's not.

*****

This morning, (during a fun watercolor project with the kids - gotta love no-school days!) the phone rang. It was the surgeon from here in town. He said that each Wednesday, he and some colleagues get together to discuss cases, etc. Yesterday, he showed Rylee's x-rays/MRI scans to the group to see what everyone's thoughts were. The consensus among the group was that Rylee does have AOI at extreme flexion and extension. In their opinion, there isn't instability until she really flexes her neck way up high/back or down low. Their thoughts are that it showed up on the x-rays because she did put her head way up high and way down low herself, but that for the MRI scans, her neck wasn't extended or flexed as much as during the x-rays.

Their recommendation was to limit some physical activity (gymnastics, trampolines, etc.) and check her again next fall with another x-ray.

*sigh*

What this did was reassure us that AOI is apparently very difficult to determine/diagnose, and that following through with a 2nd opinion from the surgeon at Shriner's in Philadelphia who has much more experience with this is definitely the right thing to do!

Thanks for everyone's continued thoughts as we work through this!

We just continue to picture Rylee as the healthy, happy, active little seven-year-old she is!

Rylee's MRI Results

2010-11-09T09:11:00.011-06:00

We met this morning with Rylee's Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon to go over the results of her MRI.

I think it's safe to say we're "cautiously optimistic yet perplexed."

The surgeon said that on the MRI, he sees "no radical instability." He read us the report from the neuroradiologist, who also looked over the MRI, and his notes do, in fact, rule out AAI. However, there was nothing in the notes that addressed the AOI, which is what we were initially told Rylee had. The surgeon said he would follow up with the neuroradiologist on that.

The surgeon did say that "x-rays can be misleading" and that MRI's were much more reliable. However, he did also say that when positioning Rylee's head for the MRI, he may not have extended or flexed her neck as much as she herself during her x-ray, which may have lead to the inconsistencies between the x-ray and MRI. He said that he would like to go back to the Pediatric Radiologist who initially read the x-ray to see if she can give an explanation as to the discrepancy between the x-ray and MRI.

The surgeon told us shortly after Rylee's MRI that he saw "definite slippage" when glancing at the scan. We aren't sure if after reviewing the scan with other docs they came to a different conclusion? (Of course I thought of this after our appointment, so I didn't ask the surgeon this question...)

So, where does this leave us?

I'm going with my gut. My gut tells me that we need a 2nd opinion.

While I am THRILLED to hear that this surgeon doesn't see any instability, I am not feeling confident as to the inconsistencies. This surgeon told us that he does not deal with AAI/AOI often... so to get Rylee's x-rays and MRI scans into the hands of doctors who do seems to be a very logical next step.

I will be making some calls and keeping you updated! We appreciate your continued thoughts as we work through this...

(Hey, maybe all of the thoughts and prayers from you guys worked! So, keep sending them... we hope the 2nd opinion doctor says, "nope, nothing there!" and we can cross this off our list and move on!!)

What Do You Do...

2010-11-05T12:33:00.007-05:00

when you're at the hospital, waiting for the doctor to take "pictures of your neck?"

Well, when you're six,

you dig your mom's little camera out of her purse

and take pictures of yourself.

Rylee's MRI Update

2010-11-04T14:46:00.007-05:00

Just wanted to update everyone on Rylee's MRI this morning...

First of all, thank you to EVERYONE who called, sent emails, texts, and left Facebook messages with your thoughts! We definitely felt them and feel so fortunate to have such love surrounding us!

Everything went pretty well... it's always hard to see your child go under anesthesia, but you just keep reminding yourself it's SO much better than having them scared and frantic about what's happening. Besides, there was no way Rylee would've been able to hold still for this... it took much longer than the average MRI because they had very exact positions they wanted her head/neck in... having her awake would've been torture (and most likely would have resulted in poor pictures.)

The Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon and Pediatric Radiologist were both there to be sure they got the pictures/views/angles they needed. (We also lined up some annual blood work to be done after she was under... pokes are never fun, and especially difficult for Rylee, so doing it today worked out well and saved us some hurt and tears.)

The surgeon told us after everything was done that he had glanced up at the screen (or whatever it is they see things on) a few times and "didn't see major pressure on the spinal cord," but that there is "definitely slippage" so he will take some time and review the results with some other doctors.

Of course, it's really good news to hear there isn't "major pressure"... though we aren't surprised by that too much. (If there were "major pressure" we would've seen symptoms of this before now.) But hey, we'll take the good news!

I can't say that I wasn't temped to bribe the surgeon to stay late tonight and review the results... (but I didn't think the $5 bill in my pocket would probably get me anything but a laugh.)

So, the plan is to... wait.

We are told we'll get a call "early next week" with more descriptive results. I am wondering if my idea of "early next week" (Monday morning by noon) is the same as the surgeon's idea of "early next week" (oh, maybe by Wednesday?) I know waiting is going to be difficult, but celebrating Rylee's birthday this weekend will definitely help!

What I am focusing on now is wisdom. I have a feeling that the decision to repair surgically or not may not be clear-cut. So, if there is anything you can do for us, please send good thoughts that Jeremy and I, with the guidance from Rylee's doctors, will be able to make the right decision for Rylee.

We will update next week when we find out the MRI results.

Again, thanks to everyone for your support, encouragement, prayers, friendship, and love!

Now, I'm off to cuddle a very brave little girl!

Big Day

2010-11-03T18:18:00.013-05:00

A few weeks ago, I was busy.

Well, let me be a bit more specific, as I am actually busy quite often.

On the particular day I'm referring to, I was busy with this...

Now, we've got someone on the phone, announcing her upcoming big day...

And of course, we've got another countdown going... actually, THREE of them!

Look who's turning SEVEN!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-03T00:00:00.002-05:00

How You Look At It

2010-10-31T00:22:00.004-05:00

I have always liked sayings... sayings about love, attitude, dreams & success, and life in general. Years ago, I started jotting down sayings I came across that I liked, and every now and then -- especially times like this -- I open up my notebook and read a few.

"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." Charles Swindoll

I agree. I really do. And most of the time, I can be thankful... see the glass as half-full... rise to a challenge and make the conscious effort to learn from it...

but sometimes, I just want to tape up lots of colorful streamers, blow up some balloons, bake a really fattening cake with an obscene amount of frosting, and have myself an all-out pity party.

And at my party, I want to let everyone who comes (probably not many) know that "It's not fair." I want to cry and stomp my feet, and declare myself as no longer an adult. I want to go back to being a kid when all I had to worry about was cleaning my room and making sure I didn't get a pink lunch tray (because if I did, it meant I was in love with the other person who had a pink lunch tray.)

And then I want to tell everyone that it's even MORE "not fair" when what's crappy is affecting someone else I love. Someone else that has already been through a lot... someone else who IS a kid and SHOULD only have to worry about cleaning her room. (I think they did away with pink lunch trays, so she's all clear there.)

And when I'm done crying and feel like I'm going to puke because I ate too much cake, I announce that my party is over. I look around and realize that there were quite a few more people there than I'd expected. I assumed no one would want to come to a party where someone who had lots in life to be thankful for was pouting and crying and feeling sorry for herself. But I was surrounded by my parents... my sister, my husband's family, and countless friends. They came. They supported me.

And then I realized that I was ok. My party was over. And after I took down the streamers, popped the balloons, and cleaned up, I was ready to rise to the challenge... to make a conscious effort to learn from it.

* * * * *

I have to give you some background first -- a little health lesson, if you will. (I want to add a disclaimer that I am definitely not an expert in this but am simply learning from doctors, the internet, and other families who have lived this. So, I'm just "Learning As I Go.")

Kids with Down syndrome have a higher risk (than "typical" kids) of having Atlantoaxial Instability (AAI), which is a gap between the C1 and C2 vertebrae in the neck. (10% of kids with Ds have this but only about 1% of those require surgery, so it's pretty rare.) There is also something called Atlanto-occipital Instability (AOI), which is even more rare. It is a gap between the occipital lobe and the C1 vertebrae.

AAI and AOI are often a-symptomatic, which means there are no symptoms to clue you in that your child has this condition. Therefore, it is recommended that all kids with Ds have C-spine x-ray dones at around age 3 to rule out both AAI and AOI.

Okay, health lesson complete. Now, on to Rylee...

We knew about these possible conditions with children with Ds, and had an x-ray done when Rylee was 3 years old. Her doctor told us that she did not have either AAI or AOI... that everything looked good and we were "all clear."

Recently, during a routine appointment with Rylee's Developmental Pediatrician, the topic of C-spine x-rays was casually brought up. I said we'd had those done at age 3 and were all clear there. Her doctor was curious about the x-rays, (as he was not the doctor that ordered them) and so he pulled her charts. Turns out the x-ray ordered was not one in which you could determine the presence or absence of AAI/AOI. *sigh* Feeling frustrated yet confident there was nothing to worry about, we scheduled a repeat x-ray.

A few weeks later, I took Rylee in for her x-rays. She was a total champ (doctors' visits are never easy for us) and I was pleasantly surprised at how cooperative she was! We celebrated with a stop at the park on the way home.

The doctor called later that afternoon with the results... AOI.

Wasn't expecting it at all.

Her doctor said we needed to watch Rylee's physical activity very carefully until we found out more. (We had to re-plan her upcoming Birthday Party at a local gymnastics academy, take down our trampoline, and let all of her teachers/therapists know what was going on.) We know now that if she were to hurt her neck or fall on her neck or anything like that, it would be much more serious than other kids. (Not to be an alarmist... but easy paralysis or worse.) He then referred us to a Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon.

After meeting with the surgeon, it became obvious to us that it was more serious than we originally thought. Here's my simple description of it... (please remember my disclaimer about not being a doctor.) When the base of the spine and the 1st vertebrae bend (mostly when Rylee extends her neck up) they are not staying parallel but instead are shifting and becoming uneven. Therefore, the amount of space Rylee's spinal cord has is being reduced. To find out just how much space the spinal cord does have, and to get an even better look at what we're dealing with, an MRI is recommended.

And so, that is what we'll do. Rylee is scheduled to have a (sedated) MRI done next Thursday, November 4.

So then what?

Well, we're not sure. Or maybe we think we know but aren't willing to let our minds go ahead to that.

It's such a tough balance. Taking things one step at a time. Not getting ahead of things... not planning for things we don't know about... not researching things that may never happen. I want to be thinking positive thoughts about an MRI with baffling results. (You know, I wouldn't mind it if Rylee threw the doctors for a loop. "I swear I saw AOI on the x-rays, didn't you? But you see here? On the MRI? Nothing. Hmmm. She's a little miracle.")

But we want to be prepared. We want to be realists. If and when we need a 2nd opinion, we want to have determined where that will be, and maybe even have an appointment set up. We want to be researching where the best damn Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon is in the country. We want the doctor who could do a spine fusion surgery in their sleep. (Okay, maybe not our surgery...) We want to know everything we need to know.

Someone I was talking to about this asked if I was really mad at the doctor who ordered the wrong type of x-ray and gave us "clearance" years ago. And you know, I could be. But I'm not. The doctor made a mistake, and though I will be sure this doctor knows about the mistake so it is not made again, I'm not mad. Instead, I'm incredibly thankful that Rylee is okay... that after years of jumping on our trampoline and taking gymnastics classes and tumbling around with her little brother, nothing has happened. I'm incredibly thankful we found out now so we can keep her safe and prevent anything from happening in the future. And I'm incredibly thankful that I can share our story with other families.

(So, for a quick, but very important sidebar: If you have a child with Ds, here's the scoop! When you take your child in to be x-rayed, it is especially important to be sure the doctor writes the correct orders and the radiologist follows through and gets the right views of your child's neck. They should take 3 x-rays from the side... one in which your child is looking down (flexion), one looking straight ahead (lateral), and one looking up (extension).

* * * * *

Many of our family and friends (you know, the ones who came to my party mentioned above) who already know about this have asked what they can do... this is what we're asking:

If you know anything about AOI, please share! If you know where research is being done on this, or where the best doctors & surgeons are to treat & repair AOI in the country, please pass it along! And if you don't know anything about this, but know of someone who DOES, please pass along my blog and ask them to read this post! (You can also send good thoughts to us next Thursday for Rylee's MRI... and visualize some baffling MRI results!)

Thanks for supporting our family.

* * * * *

When we walked out into the Pumpkin Patch, we noticed all of the small pumpkins had already been picked. So, what was left for us were the really big pumpkins... you know, the ones that you grab underneath and then it starts to slip so one hand grabs for the stem to balance it and the stem breaks off and the pumpkin goes tumbling onto the ground and you realize that it got a little squashed during it's tumble so you leave it for someone who wants a squashed pumpkin because you're looking for a perfect pumpkin for carving? Yup, that's all that was left.

Rylee takes off in one direction and Carter in the other. Jeremy and I split up to help with these monstrous pumpkins, because they will certainly be too big for the kids to carry themselves.

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew." Unknown

Good thing I never told her she couldn't do it. Not sure why I doubted her.

We know she can handle anything. She's proved it time and time again.

That Time Again

2010-10-28T22:00:00.011-05:00

It's that time again. When the leaves blow around and gather in the far corner of the deck, hiding behind the grill. (You know, the grill which has yet to be put away because by putting it away we are surrendering to winter.) The time when we have to allow for 3 and a half more minutes in the morning for coat-zipping and mitten-searching. The time when our dog's potty breaks outside reduce from 15 minutes to 2 minutes because she's not a fan of the temperature change. The time when you can go to the store and buy a fake spider to hang in the window, Pilgrim and Native American placemats, and kitchen towels with embroidered jingle bells and sleighs -- all within 3 aisles. (Seriously, can we just get through one holiday at a time?!)

And how could I forget? The time when you find yourself sneaking into your child's Halloween bucket, devouring several treats they got at their school party that you hope they won't notice are missing, and wonder why you didn't wait to join the gym until after the holidays.

The kiddos picked out their Halloween costumes this year... after Carter's Birthday Party, it's no surprise that this Sunday we'll be having a space ranger roaming the streets. And Rylee -- well, she started out wanting to be a "Princess" but the costume she liked had wings. Therefore, "Fairy" came into play and suddenly we were a "Fairy Princess." (Sounds good to me.)

(Carter is, indeed, wearing official Buzz Lightyear space boots. And if you happen to have a little one desiring such boots, go buy a pair of rain boots, a roll of white duct tape, and a bottle of lime green paint. They are pretty cool if I do say so myself, and I'm considering starting an Esty shop online.)

So, we're excited for school parties, bite-sized Snickers bars, silly Halloween games, spider rings, Tootsie Rolls, glow sticks, Trick-or-Treating, ~~and weighing in at the gym.~~

(If you want to stroll down Halloween Lane with our family, here's what Halloween from years past have looked like!)

Have a great Halloween weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

Says It All

2010-10-23T23:25:00.003-05:00

I still have writer's block.

But for now,

Carter's face

says

all.

Writer's Block

2010-10-18T18:55:00.005-05:00

Ever since I took my several-months-long "blog hiatus," my "to-blog-about" list has grown. This blog serves as sort of a diary for our family, and each time we experience an event or milestone, I want to capture it here.

But I'm at a loss for words.

I have about 4 posts saved as drafts... some of them with pictures, none of them complete. I type a few words, then hit "delete" about 18 times. There have been even more posts that I've begun to write but have wound up deleting the whole post. Nothing funny. Nothing interesting. Nothing worth clicking "publish post."

It's not that I don't have great things to blog about... Carter's first days of Preschool, our Buddy Walk... I should be overflowing with words.

But the words just aren't coming lately. (Even this super-boring post with no fun pictures has taken me a ridiculously-long time to write.)

Is that what's called a "writer's block?"

If so, then I have it.

Maybe there's some herbal remedy I can take for it.

Oooh, that's a thought.

Be back later. Hopefully soon.

I'm off to "google."

What I'm Doing

2010-10-16T14:25:00.003-05:00

I have lots of fun things to catch up on here... we've had a busy few months! Starting preschool, picking pumpkins, studying for our very 1st spelling tests, playing in the leaves...

but I can't write today.

Because I'm busy.

I'll leave you with a little peek in on what I'm doing today.

Any specific guesses?

Hope you're enjoying your Saturday! Be back soon with more fall fun from our house!

Bucket

2010-09-25T21:18:00.025-05:00

Did you guess what the kids were looking at?

It was a...

Toad.

Summer 2010 will also be known as the "Summer of the Toads."

I do not have vast knowledge about toads and their habitats. Maybe we always have lots of toads around here but it wasn't until this year the kids took an interest in them. Or maybe, for some scientific reason, there were more toads around here than normal. (You know, like we've had more rain than a typical year, or the earth is turning on its axis slightly faster than normal, or something else I obviously have no idea about.)

Whatever the case, it was all about toads.

We bought a 4-wheeler in the spring, which has provided hours of fun with Daddy at the river. With the Big Sioux River just a ~~hop, skip, and a jump~~ short 4-wheeler ride from here, Jeremy took the kids down there a lot... to throw sticks in the water, play in the sand, get muddy, and look for...

well...

toads.

Each time, the kids would return from their adventure and report to me with such excitement what they had seen.... some deer, a huge stick stuck in the ground, a beaver. But quite often, they brought back proof of their findings.

Both kids liked the toads... but each had their own idea when it came to actually touching them.

Rylee was definitely content just looking.

Carter, on the other hand, began the summer with some hesitation....

got a bit brave from time to time, with some encouragement from Dad....

and by the end of the summer, was handling* them like Jack Hanna's little assistant.

* No toads were harmed during the "Toad-catching Adventures of 2010."

After a trip to the river, I would hear the garage door open, and this is quite typically what I would find.

Two cute kiddos, with mud on their shoes, sand in their pants, and toads in their bucket.

Sometimes, the toads wound up in our large aquarium for awhile...

so the kids could watch them hop around.

For Rylee, it was a good way to see them up close, (you know... without having to actually touch them.)

For Carter, it was just something he had to be patient about until he could help Daddy scoop the toads back up out of the aquarium and back into the bucket.

(You know, after Sid, our box turtle, had had enough of his uninvited guests.)

Then, Jeremy and the kids would let them all go in our backyard.

I would listen to their stories about their trip to the river that day, praise them for being so careful with the toads, (and then quickly scoot them inside to wash their hands!)

Sometimes toads were brought back, simply to make a cozy little (temporary) home for them in the bucket. (This time, just one toad made its way back to our house.)

Both Rylee and Carter liked dropping in little sticks and handfuls of grass.

And Carter, of course, knew exactly what the little toad wanted in his home.

"Mom, he really likes it when the stick is right there. Don't Wy-Wee! (Rylee) He doesn't like the grass there! It goes here!"

But, they always worked it out. The toad would live in his bucket for, say... 20 minutes or so, and then it was time to let him go.

And, before I could scoot them inside to wash their hands, they were already asking, "Daddy, when can we go to the river again? I want to catch TOADS!"

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

The Birthday Boy

2010-09-21T14:00:00.002-05:00

(Alternately Titled: It's My Party and I'll Post Pictures When I Want To.)

I have lots to catch up on around here... because a lot of the reason I write this blog is for our family, I don't want to miss out on capturing some big events or important milestones for us! (You know, I'm sure the kids will someday read this blog and think, "Geesh, Mom... you didn't even POST about me finding that toad at the river with Dad that one weekend? I am deeply hurt.")

So, as I recover from the Buddy Walk (pictures & details to come!) I will backtrack a bit and see if I can catch up...

* * * * *

Carter turned three ~~this weekend~~ way back in April. Capturing all the fun details of a birthday party and the birthday boy's expressions tends to be much more accurate when posting about it within, say, a month of the actual party.

Posting two months past party date is definitely not ideal, as one's memory slightly fades. However, scanning back through the photos does spark some recollection.

Posting five months past party date is, well... what you get here. I will do my best to describe the fun day with accurate details... (and what I don't remember I will make up to sound even more exciting than what it really was.)

* * * * *

The stage was set.

There was no doubt as to what the theme would be this year.

With a pull-string cowboy and space ranger as a little boy's best friends, it was all about Toy Story.

The birthday boy had been so excited about his party since the first mention of it... and when Mom says it's ok to wear pajamas to the party, it's all that much better.

(Not quite so thrilled about the request for a photo wearing the birthday hat... )

Moving right along to the family picture... you know the traditional "get-us-all-in-here-quickly-and-take-a-picture-of-everyone-smiling -- or-at-least-looking -- before-the-guests-arrive-and-the-kids-take-off-to-play-or-someone-spills-down-the-front-of-their-shirt-or-someone-is-busy-texting-her-friends-or-someone-is-getting-whiny-about-wanting-cake-NOW" photo.

The birthday boy does his best to show his age... if only that pesky pinky would stay down! The other hand comes in to help out, and everyone sees that he is THREE! (Don't be confused about the birthday party theme... Carter snuck on his Lightning McQueen cap, and for a little while, it looked as if the party was a tribute to PIXAR studios.)

It doesn't take long to begin tearing in to the presents... and what should appear ~~are eight tiny reindeer~~ is the very toy that has been the birthday boy's request for months... a "big Buzz."

Guests can sense the excitement, and as he moves on to present #2, he sees that the "Big Buzz" is not alone! Here comes Buzz's friend Woody!

Now, the birthday boy continued to open presents one by one...

with a few "thank yous" tossed in there randomly to those who could hear them.

The birthday boy tries out his Buzz Lightyear arm bands... one has buttons and makes noise (Mom thinks this one is cool) and one shoots out little red plastic disks (Mom is thinking this was designed by someone without children.)

But none-the-less, the birthday boy is thrilled to be "just like Buzz," and shows all of the guests their matching arm bands.

Big sister is so great at standing back and letting the birthday boy open presents, but an equally-great little brother lets her come on in and help out on a few of the presents!

And now for a big surprise from Mom and Dad! A new super-big-kid bed with Toy Story bedding! It takes less than 7 seconds for the birthday boy to gather his new toys -- and JUMP!

And, of course, a jumping-on-the-bed party would not be complete if Buzz Lightyear weren't there to fly around!

Oh yeah... don't forget Woody!

A big kid bed... pretty exciting. But not as exciting as a bed with a shelf for every Toy Story character to sleep on!

And now... what birthday parties are really all about (when you're three)... CAKE!

The birthday boy couldn't decide which Toy Story character he wanted for his cake, so Mom (with Grandma's help) let everyone be a part of the cake! (We're all about inclusion around here.)

After a quick "Happy Birthday" song, the candle was quickly extinguished by the birthday boy's puff of air ~~and spit.~~

By the time someone turns three, he has learned a lot about patience and delayed gratification... yet, those skills are tossed aside when it comes to cake and frosting.

Just one little taste before it's taken away to be cut...

Oh wait! Maybe two tastes...

With his new Toy Story friends by his side, the birthday boy enjoys his cake and ice cream.

Eventually, all parties have to come to an end... with fun new toys, a big comfy place to sleep, and a full belly, the birthday boy thanks everyone for coming to his party (and passes out from exhaustion on the couch.)

* * * * *

The party may be over, but the birthday boy has a couple of new friends to begin lots of adventures together!

Happy 3rd Birthday ~~Woody!~~ ....... ~~Buzz!~~ ........ CARTER!

The Milestones...

2010-08-31T11:25:00.002-05:00

just keep on comin'!

Wasn't this picture just taken a few weeks ago?

Carter • 4 months old

They grow up so fast.